Lady Gaga joins the cast of AHS and I have zero Poker Face

With a tweet my newsfeed was set ablaze with news that America's favorite little monster has joined the cast of American Horror Story, next season's journey being called "Hotel".  People are losing their MINDBALLS and as the resident AHS fan (or foe) among my friends people are hounding me with the "ISN'T THIS AWESOME" question and my response is a resounding "No.  No it isn't."

Gaga's Tweet

Now, if we were hit with this news after season 1 I would be all over it.  I really like Lady Gaga, I dressed as her for Halloween once for crying out loud.  I think her brand of weird works beautifully with the AHS brand and I think she is a good actor.  But after last years ridiculous amount of musical numbers and waaaayyyy too overpopulated cast, I can't help but cringe as I think on Gaga singing every episode as we cut between every major celeb the show can cram in.

The major AHS problem pretty much since season 2 is Ryan Murphy's need to shove as many celebs into the show has humanly (or budget-ly) possible.  A cast of A-Listers does not a good show (or movie, I'm looking at you Valentine's Day) make.  With too many characters and too many A-listers who need too much screen time, we have ended nearly every season with 80% of the cast DEAD simply because it is IMPOSSIBLE to tie up that many loose ends.  We also end up with sloppy and unnecessary cameos (I'm looking at you Mat Bomer and NPH) whose plot lines serve no purpose to the story, only to their careers.

Now look, after Lady Gaga KILLED it in what was an all around boring Academy Awards, it's hard to look past AHS' major flaws and say "omgLadyGagashesamonsersheisperfectahhhhh" because you can't breathe you are so excited.  BUT, unless they trim the fat a bit and drop their A-List from 37 to 5, home girl ain't getting no screen time.  And she deserves it.  Reports say the incomparable Jessica Lange will not be in the season, but they need to get rid of more that just her to bring the show back to it's humble roots.

And to all of you thinking:

Just know:

American Horror Story Freak Show: A Rant and a Breakdown

So last week I didn't blog out of a mix of exhaustion and frustration.  The whole thing about the shows being linked has really been bugging me.  If you wanted to link the shows 1) Don't call it a miniseries and 2) recast season to season.  Whatever.  Moving on.

I feel like this season has ZERO surprise.  Honestly, nothing has blown my mind like the big rigor mortis Violet reveal.  I feel like I can pretty much predict at least a few things that will happen.

Prediction #1

The strong man will sleep with the con artist (the Denis O'Hare one).  The writers seem to be beating us over the head with the fact that O'Hare is gay, and a good chunk of last week's episode outed the Strong man.  What's a gay con artist to do in small town Florida?  Bang the strong man.

Prediction #2

The bearded Lady's death will out the Strong Man as Jimmy's father.  Subsequently one of them will kill the other.  Anger management issues have been well established.

Prediction #3

Matt Bomer is not dead.  Let's be real, its like when a famous person guest stars on Law and Order, you know they are the killer.  It seemed odd that no amount of stabbing or dismemberment killed the poor, sexy, sexy man.  Either Dandy realized the fun in this and decided to keep a dismembered zombie for fun OR Bomer is able to Doctor Who and regenerate back to his former self.

Prediction #4

O'Hare will ultimately be undone by Edward Mordrake and Twisty.  Mordrake seems to not only kill, but care about his brethren freaks.  It's been established that O'Hare's character has some sort of FREAKY deformity down by his man parts.  My guess is that in thanks for the great Halloween sacrifice of Twisty, Mordrake will come kill the double dong O'Hare... or whatever is going on in his downstairs mixup.

*NOTE:  I have finished typing up ALL of these predictions at 9:45pm.  If any come to pass or get nullified in tonight's episode I want it noted this was written pre-show

My other biggest problem with this season is that it just isn't HORROR.  Sure Twisty and Dandy are, but they don't take up enough of the show's time for it to sink in.  The bright colors are throwing me off, they are just not well done.  Tim Burton knows how to juxtapose color with creepy, think about how freaked out most people were by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Even his circus in Big Fish was creepier than the Freak Show.  And Elsa's tent is getting more and more ridiculous by the episode.  Come on... really.  REALLY.  *sigh*.  Here is my blow by blow of tonight's episode, Bulls Eye:

• "I take that ungrateful hydra dress shopping."  What a Jessica Lange line.
• "I liked Dora better."  Well maybe slitting your throat was a bad idea.
• The alcohol bottle sucker is the scariest thing on this show.
• MARRY THEM??!??!  

Oh yeah.  Incest.

• This is how I am making my friends give me presents from now on.  EVERYBODY LINE UP!  IT'S GIFT GIVING TIME!
• They did not make prosthetic legs that good back then.  Sorry, that feels like a serious inconstancy.
• Jimmy know's something up with the twins.
• Fuck yes!  Bed room scene with Matt Fraser!!!  I really really am loving EVERYTHING about him.
• WAIT WAS THE SMALL GIRL IN THE ROOM WHEN THEY WERE FUCKING!?  What is this show?  That's not horror that just weird.

• Oh DAYUM PAUL IS GETTING ALL THE ACTION!  Elsa, Meryl Streep's daughter.
• This bitch is ALWAYS happy.  Get real Bette.
• Dot looks like she is always 3 seconds away from murder.
• What the fuck, Dot is one sick bitch.  Killing her sister, fuck.
• If Matt Fraser is in next season I may consider watching.
• Somebody just kill Dandy.  He went from scary to annoying right quick.
• I HATE these imaginings of the con artists.
• Great,  Another fucking song.  At least this one is period.
• Is anybody else finding this episode super boring?
• "Even your sister didn't want you anymore."  Pepper allegedly murdered her sisters baby.  Connection.
• Elsa deserves an academy award.
• Trust me by letting me throw knives at you!

• This is going to be bad.  I am more nervous because I know what's going to happen than I am scared.
• Saw that coming.
• That moment you realize tonight's show is 13 minutes longer.  I have to sit through 13 more minutes.

• Wait, O'Hare is making her do this by herself!??!!
• That CGI smoke was ridiculous.
• How the hell many days is Elsa's birthday?
• "If Elsa says the twins ran aufff the the twins ran aouuuufff."  That accent.
• Dandy is yelling again and I have checked out.
• Is it me or does Jimmy look weirdly tan.  Like he is wearing too much makeup.
• IS THIS EPISODE THE FUCKING STORY HOUR?!?  WE KNOW YOU ALL HAD SAD LIVES I GET IT.
• Whoever applied Kathy Bates beard was not prepared for HD closeups.

And its over. 

AHS: Edward Mordrake... Part 2

*Sigh*  Another 2 parter just like Anne Frank during Asylum.  This show needs a totally fresh cast... and maybe a new show runner.  What to look forward to tonight?  Hopefully some more Twisty as that is the only plot I can get behind.  What not to look forward to in tonight's episode?  Whatever tragically out of place musical number Murphy has added to torture me with.  That's right.  I now take these musical numbers personally.  *SIIIIIGGHHH*  Here we go...

• What in Sweet baby Jesus' name is Wes Bently's accent

• I like the idea of hearing every "freak's" back story.
• Mat Fraser is AWESOME.  I would like to see him in another season, he is an AWESOME actor.
• I guess we are not going to hear about how Pepper drowned a baby?
• I'm confused... is Jessica Lange considered a freak by Mordrake?
• "It is your delusional ignorance" oh SNAP.  You do not talk to Miss Lange like that you fool.
• Oh snap, is "Esmeralda" going to get killed by Mordrake for being a liar liar pants on fire?
• I keep forgetting Twisty is capturing kids... I didn't realize he wasn't feeding them.  Didn't the girl have gruel?
• Twisty's physicality is amazing.

• That girl just strait up kicked some ass,
• AHHHHHH AHHHHHHH WHAT CAN BE SCARIER THAN BEING CHASED BY THAT
• Evan Peters and beau go to save the day?
• Woah!  HBO sex
• Who needs botox when there is CGI
• RITCHY RICH!  OH FUCK!  EVAN!!!!! 
• Wait... why have we not heard the giant woman's story.  IS SHE GOING TO END UP DEAD????  omg I hope not I love her.
• "I made men ejaculate gold."
• Is Lange about to be snuff filmed???
• THIS IS HORROR STORY!  THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING THEY HAVE DONE
• "She's the one."  It's a bit early for Lange to part.
• What.  Is.  Happening.
• YES!  We are going to hear Twisty's story!
• I am guessing the mouth is an attempted/botched suicide or somebody tried to kill him.
• Why is "Esmeralda"being so helpful?  I thought she was a cold hearted con artist.
• Im not gunna comment here, I need to know this.
• This story is BREAKING my HEART

Watching him talk in that sad little voice though that gaping hole BROKE me

• I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• NO!!!!!!!! TWISTY! YOU WERE THE BEST PART OF THIS SHOW.
• fuck,
• They did it again.  They ended he best story line too soon.  Just like the demon in Asylum,
• Gross that mask is filthy.

• You stand on your soap box Lobster Boy, you tell them bout Meep.
• Until I saw her pouring coffee... I forgot about Angela Bassett
• Aw look, all the people heard about what Jimmy did and accept him.  Gooble Gobble.
• Honestly I am really upset this isn't the last episode.  THIS is the AHS problem, they end it perfectly 7 episodes too soon and then have a season to finish.  Without Twisty, this season is useless.
• I smell a musical number coming.  Great.
• Now that Ritchy Rich is "Twisty" he can kill I bet.
• And boom goes the dynamite.

I am calling this the BEST/WORST episode.  If this was the season finally and there weren't 200 extaneous plots, this would have been the best AHS episode, second only to the Violet reveal season 1.  But now.  AHS has to take things to far and end things too soon.  The snuff film and Twisty bits were true horror.  I was creeped out, which isn't easy.  But with Twisty gone, Dandy will NOT be able to fill those shoes.  I just don't care about any of these characters or plots that are left.  Oh American Horror Story, you done screwed the pooch again.  I shall begrudgingly finish the season.  Thank GOD there was no musical number.

American Horror Story Finale: The Seven Wonders

So I read a cool theory on tumblr about who the next supreme may be.  Apparently, when Sarah Paulson's (Cordilia) name pop's up on the opening credits, the picture that appears next to it is a saint known in Folk Catholicism as "The Lady of Seven Powers".  Would they really be so bold as to hang this in front of us since DAY ONE?  Yes.  They probably would.  I had wondered in my last blog why Cordelia had counted herself out as the next supreme... maybe she shouldn't have?

Since the beginning of this blog, I insisted that Misty would be the next supreme.  I don't think I'm right, they will probably throw us a curve ball, like the baby Laveau stole is the new supreme.  You know it won't be something simple.  Probably they're all going to die.  I mean, die die, not die but then come back 10 time die.  Welp here it goes, last live blog of coven:

• The camera was tiled for the entirity of this show.
• Oh... wait... Am I watch a music video from the early 90s?  Because that's kind of what this feels like.
• Wait, did Stevie Nicks write a song for this show?  I'm not that familiar with her stuff.

• RYAN MURPHY.  STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS GLEE.  
• Awww, Queenie is reaching out to Nan.
• Myrtle Snow, you ate SHIT and loved it, now you are serving caviar.
• REALLY!  REALY?!  A LAST SUPPER TABLEAU?  REALLLLYYYY?!?  You can't have a nice conversation like that.
• Why is Misty even still there?  The witch hunters are gone, she isn't running from anybody.
• They ALL grabbed KNIVES last week to kill the jazzman.  We know they can do this.
• What was the actual point of Zoe's killer vagina?
• HEY QUEENIE STOP HITTING YOURSELF!
• Bahahaha Evan Peter's face is HILARIOUS during mind control.

• WHAT THE HELL!  SINCE WHEN CAN CORDELIA DO THAT?!?! SHE JUST FLUNG KYLE ACROSS THE DAMN ROOM!
• That is one impressive time turner... night night girls... don't die.  Again.  Well for some of you.

• Cordilia looks like a mobster's wife.

• Ladies, Queenie has done this already.
• OHHHHHHHH DIG AT THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!!!!  

• Ooooh I love Tassia's whiny cry.
• Aw, Misty is so sweet, she is just a good girl who got caught up in this nonsense.
• Uh-oh.  I think Misty may be dead meat.
• NOOOO MISTY!!!!! I WAS SO WRONG! NOOOOOOO NOOO!!!!!!!!!!  Wow was I off base.
• OHHH Zoe is a transmuting biotch.
• Aww they look they are actually having FUN playing transmu-tag.
• Oh gosh.  ZOE!!!  WITHOUT MISTY WHO WILL SAVE HER???
• AW MAN!  Queenie is trying so hard to save her!
• If Madison is supreme I am OUT.
• AW KYLE!  I just want Evan Peters to LOVE me!!
• Oh man, did Tumblr get it RIGHT?!
• IS CORDELIA MAKING QUEENIE EXERCISE?!?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHA
• Cordelia dies, boom commercial break.  You KNOW she is going to see all the people who really died on this show.
• Damn, Cordie is smooth.
• "Who knew the test came with braille"
• Uh-oh Madison can't divine.
• Bye bye Madison.  You will not be missed.
• Kyle is gunna kill this bitch sooooo hard.
• "You're not that good an actress."  Best kill line ever.
• Is it weird that Evan Peters is killing his real life fiance?
• Wait... can't it still be Zoe?  She never finished the seven wonders, she died by accident.
• YES! PREVIEW FOR BATES MOTEL!!!!!!
• Annnnd Madison is dead again.
• AHHHHH SPALDING!  Why you so creepy?!  Even as a ghost!  With your doll hand and mumble mouth.
• Wait, why can Kyle see Spalding?
• Cordie has her EYES back!
• The camera spinning is making me sick.
• Wasn't this EXACTLY how last season ended?  Sarah Paulson getting interviewed?

• So your saying, being a witch is like being gay.  Got it.
• Well, I was annoyed with Cordelia all season, but suddenly I love her.
• OH GOSH!  Is Myrtle going to KILL Cordelia??? 
• WAIT MYRTLE WANTS TO BE KILLED???
• Well, I guess if you're going to go out, you better be fucking fabulous when you do it.  
• This is just murder again, how does this resolve anything?
• Did Myrtle just scream "Balenciaga"?
• Did they cut Zoe's speech?  She had one in the preview...

• Also... what was the point of casting Patti Lupone... she was hardly in it and didn't even SING.
• Look at all the witches!  This place is going to be like Hogwarts!
• Would you really trust Queenie or Zoe?  They are both backstabbing biotches.
• Well DAMN, Mama's still alive!
• If this is a TWIST ending where Cordelia is killed by Fiona.  Ugh.
• How did Fiona deteriorate so quickly?
• Fiona:  A better actress then Madison.
• THIS IS HOW FIONA KILLED MADISON THE FIRST TIME!
• I do not trust this "weak" Fiona.  I am waiting for the twist.
• A neck snap maybe?
• WAS THIS ALL A DREAM BECAUSE FUCK THAT.
• Oh, whew, she's just in hell.... or heaven?  Nope, hell, she dead.
• Ew, did Kyle just become Spalding?
• I want all of the hats on this show.
• Was this show just a long commercial for Stevie Nicks new album???

This season had so much potential but I think it fell a bit short with its repetition and large cast.  So many plot lines fell by the wayside as nothing more than filler.  In my opionion, NOTHING has lived up to season 1... but this came close.  Some teasers for next season started leaking... either AHS Carnival or Circus which would be BOSS!  It's probably a huge hoax but I LOVE THE IDEA OF A FREAK SHOW!  ONE OF US GOOBLE GOBBLE!  Because I want it so much its probs fake.

GO TO HELL! American Horror Story Coven

So before tonight's episode, I was doing the dishes and thinking about Nan.  AHS has the habit of adding totally pointless characters, maybe to distract you, maybe because they over write their scripts, but either way, I refuse to believe Nan served so little of a purpose.  She has a full story arc with Patti Lupone and that hottie christian boy.  You don't use a favorite past actress like Jamie Brewer and an epic theatre goddess like Lupone for no reason at all.  Here's to hoping that there is more to that plotline.  I also just want to say, that while this season isn't the disaster last season was, its just missing that all out creep factor of season one.  I mean, there were nights I couldn't sleep after watching an episode, let alone be alone in my apartment.  Don't get me wrong, I like this season, but it lacked some of the horror element of American Horror Story.  It started out strong, but just sort of became lacking and predictable.  My thought for next season:  Much, much smaller cast.  Season 1 was essential only FIVE essential characters... six if you count Moira.  We have close to NINE main characters this season, which is better than last seasons 450.

• Weird silent movie opening... does not feel like a good sign.
• This is not how I imagined we would learn about the seven wonders
• While I respect the truthfulness to silent film tech... BUT I don't see the point in this over stylized nonsense.
• "Half baked beetlejuice."  Yes.  Yes.  That is EXACTLY what he is.  This is the best line ever, that may be because Beetlejuice is one of my all time favorite movies.
• Jeeze Cordelia, at least put on some glasses.

No girl.   You don't understand you look worse now

• Okay, so times of crisis EVERYBODY gets new powers, you should have mentioned that earlier
• Bitch, she find out you brained Misty.  I really am over Madison.
• Wait, how does Cordilia even still have eyeballs at all?  She gouged them out.
• Is Marie chopped up in itty bitty bits?  Cuz that's a genius way of getting rid of her.
• QUEENIE!  You don't have any cocaine!!  PAPA LEGBA LOVE COCAINE!

• What, dafuq, is going on with Queenie.

• The spirit of Jazz wants some fried chicken!  Seriously, he is the spirit of jazz.

WATCH THE MIGHTY BOOSH

• Broils (aka Lance Reddick) is AWESOME as this character
• OH LAWD!  Marie is all cuts up!
• BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  LaLaurie is giving her OWN house tours!  I love the new do girl!  You looks like Kathy Bates now.
• Woah, Queenie is looking kind of thug life looking at LaLaurie.
• LaLaurie, are you going to kill a white person?  Does that make you less racist?
• Oh wait, no, she's still alive.
• HAHAHAHAHAHA LaLaurie is commiserating with Paula Deen.  Brill.
• LaLaurie's little speech about how easily we forgive is brilliant and true.  People only apologize because they get caught
• Woah.  That was an epic amount of blood coming out of LaLaurie
• Ok, so Fiona is still dying.
• Man those eye contacts are wickedly good.  Bravo makeup department.
• OH SHIT!  DID CORDELIA JUST PROPHESIZE THEY WOULD ALL END UP DEAD???  BY FIONA'S HAND!?
• Fiona's gunna break the jazzman's heart?  That seems unwise.
• Misty is still alive?  Just chillin in that grave?
• How come Cordelia is out of the running for supreme?  They keep talking about all of the younger girls, but why can't Cordie?
• Wooo!  Misty is back!
• I fucking love how Myrtle talks passively aggressively to EVERYBODY

• AH!  Zoe is back!  Awww her and Kyle love each other so much.
• That homeless dude is dead meat.
• Okay, so literally every witch can do all of the seven wonders.
• FINALLY SOMEBODY IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF MADISON!
• "Boy, did you walk into the wrong house"
• I love seeing all of the witches FINALLY together.
• Woops, did the axeman AX Fiona?  Ha.. ha... see what I did there... yeah no I got nothing.
• Is it weird that I find Danny Huston as the Axeman seriously sexy?
• Rut-roh that looks like the Axeman's killing strut.

• "I made you die those little deaths for the first time in your life."  That's some damn line right there.
• When did Fiona grow her hair back?
• FIONA WHY ARE YOU STAYING FOR A DRINK HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU.
• Stupid move Fi.  Stupid move.
• So Fiona is dead... who is the next supreme?
• "Yeah he is a psycho mas murderer" -Madison "Yes is there anybody here for whom that could not be said?" -Myrtle
• ARE THEY ALL THE SUPREME??

• Isn't that exactly how he died the first time?
• Oh damn, is LaLaurie in HELL?!?!
• I cannot make is CLEAR enough how dearly I love Angela Bassett.  I cannot.
• Damn, Queenie sold EVERYBODY out.

CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!  My money was initially on Misty as the new supreme but it's tough to tell now.  There is a chance they may throw in a monkey wrench and decide that they are all just way to evil to be supreme.  It's a toss up!  What are your guesses, comment and let me know!

AHS: Protect the Coven!

So, in my opinion, this show has gotten a bit repetitive.  They keep beating us over the head with this "THERE IS A NEW SUPREME COMING" plot line and not really given us anything new.  And how many times is each characters going to die?  It's bordering on ridiculous, and takes the power out of playing the death card.  When they killed Madison so early I was shocked, but now, even when the really killed Nan, I just couldn't get into it, I was numb to characters dying.  I'm just hoping this all leads somewhere because this plot is really going in circles, just the same things over and over and over and over... well, you get it.  Here are my moment to moment thoughts:

• Every time they flashback I feel like I'm watching Interview with a Vampire.
• We get it guys, Kathy Bates is racist.  We've driven that home.
• That dress is Kathy Bates as Violet Beauregard.

• Why are we flashing back to this?  We know she thinks blood is like 19th century botox.
• So... she killed a chicken and then lost her damn mind?  Remind me to never kill a chicken.
• Poor, poor Nan.

• I can NOT get enough of Angela Bassett
• Okay so Queenie is alive then
• Who the hell put Lalaurie back together?
• OH LOOK!  KYLE IS HERE!  HI KYLE!  Good to know you still exist.

• Oh man Misty is RIGHT THERE.
• I thought the witch hunter corporation collapsed?  How did they make a whole fake ID?
• How the hell does Lalaurie know how to give a mani?
• Okay so there is still a 3 some going on between Kyle and his lovely lady lumps.
• Madison can poop?  She seems to thin for that.
• IS SHE EATING POOP???  THEY ALL JUST ATE POOP SOUP!
• Why the hell did Laveau keep the baby?  Give it back!
• DID FIONA JUST SPRAY HER HOO-HA???  Oh that HAS to burn.
• One day I'm going to grow up to be Myrtle Snow.

• "It smells like an Olympian's ejaculate."  That was a line that happened.
• Oh LAWD I thought Lalaurie had reformed!  Bitch just be crazy.
• So... I guess Kyle is still a little slow... but I do love the chemistry he has with Taissa.
• I'm am over Madison.  Even if she does have the best lines.
• I'm still confused as to how the jazzman exists... he was a ghost.
• Wait... Does Fiona still have cancer?  Because she was strait up dying before the midseason finale.
• AHH! SPALDING!  I am so happy, it was such a waste to get rid of Dennis O'Hare so quickly.

• If they kill Angela Bassett, I am out.
• Who isn't the next supreme?  Everybody is the next supreme.  I'm the next supreme.
• Why is nobody looking for Misty?
• Annnnd she is gunna blind herself again isn't she. Two people died to give you those eyes Cordelia!
• God damn it Cordelia you are ridiculous.
• They should just write a TV show for Francis Conroy and Jessica Lange.  Just two old biddies bickering.

I mean, really.

• It's a doll.  It's a fucking doll.  I can't.  I can not even.  He made Lalaurie get him a fucking doll.
• Benedryl... please tell me he is fucking with her.
• THEREMIN!
• I keep forgetting Zoe and Myrtle are related.
• Zoe listen to your aunt and go, why are you so committed anyway!?
• This witch hunter this is awkward and I hate it.
• I KNEW I SAW AN AX!   I thought it was the witch hunter's ax!
• BWAHAHAHAHAHA Marie Laveau is impressed.
• ANGELA TAKING CELLPHONE PICS.  I LOVE IT.
• I mean... Benedryl makes you sleepy but not drunk.
• NO! ANGELA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Oh, whew...   If the bury her, Cordelia will find her
• SPALDING TOO THE BABY!  WHAT THE FFFUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

• Oh that baby is a ghost now, isn't it.
• Oh, my God, I love Evan Peters so, so much,
• I'm glad they left, but if they aren't on the show anymore I am going to be sorely disappointed, especially since Kyle just got his brain back.

ONLY TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT!  Hopefully they will stop beating around the bush!

THE MAGICAL DELIGHTS OF STEVIE NICKS! The episode of AHS we have ALL been waiting for!

With the news that Evan Peters and Emma Roberts are now engaged (EVAN LOVE ME!) I settled down to watch tonight's episode with a heavy heart.  But, after the epic mid-season finale I have high hopes.  Questions you have to ask yourself, is Queenie dead?  Are Laveau and Fiona really going to team up?  Are the corporate witch hunters about to take revenge?  Is Kyle really done drooling into a cup?  Let's find out!  Here are my thoughts LIVE as I watch!

• Why is Fiona being so kind to Laveau?  I mean, yeah, Laveau just went through a bad experience, but Fiona, you a bitch.
• WHAAAAT Laveau?!?!  Are you and Fiona going to have pillow fights and braid each others hair?  This is a 180 that I DO NOT trust.
• Ruh-oh monster shadow annnnd RED EYED VOODOO DEVIL!  He looks like the Spirit of Jazz from the Mighty Boosh!

• OMG THAT'S BROYLS FROM FRINGE!!!! YEY!! It's nice to see him play something other than a stuffy FBI agent!

• Uhhh Is Laveau going to steal/kill a baby.   DaFuq
• What in God's name is going on!  WHAT IS HAPPENING!  WHAT THE FUCCCCCKKKKKK!  Laveau just went all Linda Blaire on those cops.
• Ruh-oh Cordelia FINALLY hears the truth about her psycho ex husband.
• Fiona why you hitting your daughter!  Shit has been bad enough for her as it is, even if you WERE right about him being a toolbox.
• Oh shit, Fiona looks actually REALLY scared.  That can't be good...
• I am obsessed with Misty, she is PERFECTION.

• Jessica Lange and Lily Rabe have fantastic chemistry.
• Fiona, stop telling EVERYBODY they will be the supreme.  You clearly dont know.
• STEVIE NICKS!  OMG IS SHE ACTUALLY A WITCH!?  I LOVE THIIIIS... and there goes Misty...

• Where the hell is Queenie?
• OMG GOOSEBUMPS!  I won't lie, I love Stevie Nicks and she sounds AMAZING!  My mom raised me on this woman's voice, I am LOVING this episode.
• "Marshall?  You're not his type.  And more importantly, you're not the next supreme."  BURN.
• Okay, so Madison's murmer is gone, but who cares?  She died she can't be the supreme, she's only alive because of Misty.
• I think Nan really had a better chance of being supreme than Madison.

• I bet Madison would have stuck the cigarette in her vagina without the mind control.
• Wait, how did Cordelia not figure any of this out while they were married?
• Man, Fiona is really not having Cordelia.  Damn.
• I don't know why, but even though that mouse trap spell was cool, all I could think was "Flowers for Algernon."
• AH!  Fiona!  Whats going on!  BE OKAY!
• Luke is dead!  OH NO!  I mean, we knew that, but I feel so bad for Nan.
• Why are Fiona and Laveau actually trusting each other.
• She sold her soul, boom!
• Oh man, Angela Bassatt is KILLING it.  I am LIVING for her performance.
• The funeral procession is a BEAUTIFUL representation of New Orleans and it's culture.
• "Players only love you when their playing."  Dang, Madison knows her Fleetwood Mac
• I LIVE for New Orleans cemeteries.

• HOLY FUCK!  Did Madison really bring that guy back to life!??
• MADISON!  NO!
• Poor Misty, all she wanted was help and now she's fucked.  Hopefully she is powerful enough to get herself out of this mess. 
• HOW MANY TIMES ARE THESE CHICKS GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER???
• Wait... where is Kyle?

Peek-a-boo, we never ever see you are you even in this season?

• OMG Now they want to bring LUKE back to life?  JUST LET PEOPLE DIE!!
• Oh Damn he was cremated!
• OH FUCK!  NAN IS OUT OF CONTROL!
• Whatever, Luke's mom was already dead once.
• OMG MYRTLE IS PLAYING THE THEREMIN!!!!!  Of course she would.  True story, only one person in the world is a master of that amazing little electrical instrument.
• I hope to be like Myrtle Snow one day.
• Yeah you know what Cordelia, just kill yourself.  I am really sick of your whining.

• Back on the coke then are we Fiona?
• Wait, are you giving the demon coke?
• Oh NO Fiona!  Why would you do this?  Is immortality worth it?
• YOU HAVE NO SOUL!  SNAP!
• How the fuck did the axeman get there?  Is he a ghost or a person or what I am so confused?!?!

• OH GOSH!  NAN FOUND THE STOLEN BABY!
• Oh NAN is full of SASS
• WHY THE HELL ARE THEY DROWNING NAN!!!
• "She's innocent... mostly."
• Oh man, I loved Nan, why do they always kill Jamie Brewer... oh well, guess she isnt supreme.
• Is Stevie Nicks about to get killed?
• Watching Fiona listen to Stevie was beautiful.
• Ugh, if anybody who died this episode (with the exception of Misty) comes back to life, this show is useless.

Next weeks episode looks damn good though...  Fiona and Marie are a serious combo!