Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Blogging 'Bout Some Books

As an avid reader, face to Nook almost constantly, a lot of friends and family ask for recommendations.   I have a very specific taste in books which I call "Super Fiction" or "Super Fantasy.  The farther away from reality, the more likely I am to enjoy it.  Lately it seems I've been stuck in YA steampunk fiction, but I do have broader taste.  Here is a list of some of the best series I've read in the last few years, both YA and Adult fiction included.


This is an Adult book series is Deborah Harkness' first venture into Fiction.  Harkness originally wrote historical non-fiction, focusing her studies on magic and science in Europe from 1500 to 1700.  Using her knowledge, Harkness built a character much like herself.  Except she's a witch.  Diana Bishop is a historian who, while researching her dissertation, calls up an enchanted manuscript from the Bodleian Library.  Having been lost for centuries, the scent of this manuscript reappearing brings all magical creatures to Bishop's doorstep.  In the world Harkness created, we have vampires, witches and daemons living in secret among us.  Bishop is a witch who wants nothing to do with her powers and supernatural upbringing.  She especially does her best to stay away from vampires.  But when one protects her from all the things that go bump in the night, well....  It's time for her to except her witchiness and figure out what's so important about this manuscript.  Both of these books are not only beautifully written, sexy, funny and exciting but superbly researched.  When I read these books I was not only was I entertained, but I had actually learned something.  Needless to say, I cannot wait for the next and last book of the series to be released   Unfortunately Harkness is still working on it so who knows when it will be out!


You listen to me.  These books are amazing.  Did you like The Hunger Games?  These books are better.  That's right.  I said it.  In another dystopian future, Chicago has been divided into 5 factions, Candor (honesty), Abnegation (selflessness), Dauntless (bravery), Amity (Peacefulness) and Erudite (intelligence).  When you turn 16 you are given the chance to choose the faction that you will then devote the rest of your life to, possibly leaving your family and whole way of life behind forever.  Before you choose, you are given a test to see which faction will be your best fit.  Abnegation girl Beatrice has dreamed of a life outside her faction.  When given her test, she finds that she actually doesn't fit well into any faction.  She is divergent.  This fact is covered up, and when the time comes Beatrice chooses Dauntless, a choice which could end her life.  These books are fantastic page turners with tons of action and even a bit of romance.  Beatrice is an amazing character, she is tough, smart and no matter how desperate her situation she never complains and never gives up.  The reason I like these books better than Hunger Games is that (so far) each book gets better.  Insurgent is an incredible read, where you spend most of your time yelling "NO!" or "OH MY GOD!"  Book 3 comes out in the fall.  Can. Not. Wait.


Set in New York during the 1880s, this book hearkens back to Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray." Young Miss Natalie Stewart lives with her father, and helps him with his work at the MET.  Poor Miss Stewart has been mute since the death of her mother when she was just a child.  While looking at a prospective portrait of a one Lord Denbury she notices the painting moves... calls out to her even!  And then she falls through canvas and the magic and mystery begins.  These are wonderfully written YA books from the unique perspective of the diaries of a mute girl living in a time when having a disability was debilitating.  To be fair it should be noted that the author, Leanna Renee Hieber is a friend of mine, but friend or no I would have found my way to these books and devoured them anyhow.


This is another fantastic series by Miss Hieber.  Victorian London was a dangerous place to be!  Not only is Jack the Ripper hunting streets, we have ghosts and possessive demons to deal with!  Not to fear, a group of men and women with divine powers are here to protect the living from the dead.  But when their leader Alexi becomes wrapped up in an old proficiency he becomes obsessed with finding the fated last member of the Guard, tensions in the group rise.  Besides fighting ghouls and ghosts, two of the guards run Athens Academy for boys and girls.  Enter a strange young albino woman named Persephone Parker, she has a knack for language and other strange talents.  Immediately Alexi is drawn to her... but is she friend or foe?  The Guard isn't so sure.  There is one more book left in the series and I am anxiously awaiting it's release.  These books are full of beautiful imagery and heart pounding mystery.  Ghosts in Victorian London... really how can you say no?


I just finished Heartless in this series and I cannot get enough!  Thank God Timeless comes out next month!  Gail Carriger you are a hilarious and imaginative genius.  These books take place in a steampunk London, where dirigibles float through the air and the supernatural mingle with the common man.  Alexia Tarabotti is a unique woman, she is half Italian, unmarried, outspoken, smart and one of the supernatural... well actually she is the opposite.  Miss Tarabotti is soulless.  Her touch can turn the supernatural human.  Though she is registered with the Bureau of Unnatural Registry (BUR for short) Alexia keeps her soulless state quiet among the regular humans.  She's shocking enough as it is.  That is, until she kills a vampire in self defense and gets tangled up in BUR nonsense.  Now she is forced to work with Lord Connal Maccon, head of the London BUR, werewolf, and all around pain in the ass.  These books are hilarious, smart, creative and super sexy.  A supremely entertaining read.


I told you I've been really into steampunk lately.  These books are action packed and have some seriously kick ass female characters.  It's been a while since I read these books so I'm going to cheat a little and add the publisher's blurb so I don't accidentally give an important plot point away:  "In 1897 England, sixteen-year-old Finley Jayne has no one...except the "thing" inside her.When a young lord tries to take advantage of Finley, she fights back. And wins. But no "normal" Victorian girl has a darker side that makes her capable of knocking out a full-grown man with one punch.... Only Griffin King sees the magical darkness inside her that says she's special, says she's one of "them." The orphaned duke takes her in from the gaslit streets against the wishes of his band of misfits: Emily, who has her own special abilities and an unrequited love for Sam, who is part robot; and Jasper, an American cowboy with a shadowy secret."  The next book in the series comes out in March, and after the excitement and romance of Girl with the Clockwork Collar I cannot even wait!


Please world... PLEASE do not judge these books by the movie trailer.  WHY MUST THEY TURN ALL GOOD THINGS INTO BAD MOVIES!  Just based on casting alone I have to say NO!  These books are fabulous, with maybe the exception of the final book of the series which was a little disappointing.  These books take place in the small southern county of Gatlin.  Unlike most supernatural YA books, this series is from a male point of view.  All Ethan Wate wants to do is get out into the world as far away from Gatlin as possible... until a new girl comes to school and turns his world upside down.  Lena Duchannes isn't like the bottle blonde pageant girls of Gatlin, she is dark, she is intelligent and she is beautiful.  Little does he know, she is also dangerous.  She is a witch and on her 16th birthday she will be chosen for either the light or the dark and she has no idea which due to a family curse.  No matter how much she wants to push Ethan away for his safety they are drawn to each other and he is determined to give her a choice.  These books are beautiful and oh so romantic.  They may not be Shakespeare, but they are entertaining and good for an "awww".

Hope you check out some of these books and I am always looking for recommendations. 

Monday, January 28, 2013

Vampire Diaries vs True Blood

Apparently lounging in an outdoorsy, dark place makes a vampire sexy.  Anybody who knows me, knows that I love vampires.  I wish I was a Vampire, but as we live in the real world, I have to turn to media to get my vampire kicks.  Other than the American version of Being Human (which I refuse to watch) these are the only two currently airing vampire-centric TV shows.  I loyally watch both, and have even read the True Blood books, but I think it's time for a comparison.  Now, I know how I feel about the two shows and I am sure this is going to be super biased, but feel free to disagree.

HBO vs The CW

Whew!  I really wish I had a comparison photo with Elena, Damon and Stefan naked and covered in blood, but The Vampire Diaries is on The CW so they have to keep it PG13.  But, that PG13 rating doesn't stop the show from being hot!  Sure, it doesn't have the same nearly pornographic hot sex of HBO, where you sit and think "Are they... are they actually having sex?"  I mean, I will never, ever, say no to seeing Alexander Skarsgard's perfect tush, or even, let's be honest, Anna Paquin's flawless rack, but that doesn't a supernatural show make.  The CW knows how to do supernatural.  Literally.  The show Supernatural has been on the CW since 2005 and let's not forget CW was once WB which gave us Buffy the Vampire Slayer which despite being off the air since 2003 and still has arguably of the most loyal fan bases.  They've also given us Angel, Charmed, Smallville, Roswell and currently run shows like The Secret Circle, Arrow and Beauty and the Beast.  But let us also not forget, HBO gives us Game of Thrones.

Advantage: Tie.  HBO gives sexy realness while the CW had been doing supernatural since it was The WB.

Dead, Dead, Deader

These are both shows about Vampire/werewolves/hybrid/shapeshifters/witches and whatnot.  People are bound to get killed.  A lot of people.  You should be worried for literally everybody's safety.  But with True Blood, that is just not the case, and I think this fact has hurt the show.  Having read the books, I know that half the characters who are still on the show are either dead, in jail or on the run, including fan favorites.  I think this is killing True Blood because there are just too many characters.  Every season it seems they scramble to give every single on of them their own plot line, giving us weird plot lines about Afrits that weirdly end halfway through the season.  They drop like FLIES  on Vampire Diaries.  I don't want to list the dead as not to ruin it for anybody who is not caught up, but sometimes I fear for even the main characters.  Not counting Elena because she's died about 200 times.  But this constant cycle of characters keeps the plot lines fresh and keeps viewers on the edge of their seats.

Advantage:  The Vampire Diaries, ain't nobody safe.

The Cheese Factor

Yes, the top picture is of Caroline as a pre-vampire cheerleader using a scarf to cover her bite marks, and yes the bottom picture is Sookie in fairyland.  FAIRLYLAND.  You just can't do a serious vampire show without a bit of cheese and a few laughs.  Otherwise it becomes something too dark to deal with.  I think True Blood has the cheese market cornered.  Between Sookie making fun of Bill's voice or the Queen Fairy voguing while talking, you can't help but laugh and enjoy yourself.  Sometimes the Vampire Diaries takes itself way too seriously and you just want to slap Stefan and say "SMILE DAMNIT!  You're 200 years old and still gorgeous, stop whining!"  At least True Blood is always good for a laugh.

Advantage:  True Blood

Consistency Between Seasons

Sorry True Blood, but you are ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE.  I get that every season you are beating down a new demon, but jeeze, are you comedy or drama or porn?  The first season was a great balance of sex, violence and actual plot.  Season 2 (my person favorite) have a lot of sex, but a great baddie and a plot that involved all the characters in their own way without anybody becoming too overshadowed.  I just had to look up what even happened on season 3, it doesn't even stick out in my mind.  That's a bad sign.  Season 4, Fairyworld and witches.  What the what.  I have to say, the acting in the season was fab, but the plots were kind of a mess.  And this season... well this season was just bizarre with almost no cohesion between story lines.  Meanwhile, every season of Vampire Diaries is interesting without taking on too much.  Yes, sometimes it gets a bit boring and yes, sometimes you get sick of the same whining, but still at least you have a good idea what's coming season to season.  You're not going to be thrown into some weird blood cult or something.

Advantage:  The Vampire Diaries.  They may be whiny parent-less teens, but at least the keep it real.

Skarsgard vs Somerhalder

The two sexiest men with the strangest last names.  Now, I've always had a thing for guys with dark hair and light eyes, but is there such a thing as an unattractive Swedish man?  Just look at Henrik Lundqvist!  So how do we even break it down.  IMPOSSIBLE!  They both play the bad boy, they both do steamy love scenes, they both play a character you root for even if you probably shouldn't and they both are snarky and hilarious.  Somerhalder with that sideways smirk and devious squint in his eye.  Skarsgard with his accented gravely voice and tall, lean body.  Both blue eyed beauties keep me watching each show, just praying for their screen time to come.  

Advantage:  Tie.  HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE?!

So if we break this down, in my opinion  Vampire Diaries win.  True Blood has gone way off the rails, possibly becoming too disconnected from the books the show is derived from.  I am putting faith in the writers to bring it back around and turn the "Bilith" plot line into something interesting.  If I wrote this blog 2 years ago, True Blood might have won, but it just didn't turn out that way.  Don't get me wrong, I will still faithfully watch True Blood, but they better get their shit together asap.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Forget James Bond, Hellloooo Sherlock Holmes

This image is missing a few people, don't don't you worry you're pretty little heads my dear darling readers, I'll get there.

Back in 2006 the iconic British Spy James Bond came back, and this time he was Blonde, James Blonde, and just a sexy as ever.  I myself have never been a Bond girl, literally and figuratively.  He's kind of boring, just a bunch of shooting and drinking, with the occasional tumble in the sheets.  Let's be honest, M is really the sexy brains of the operation.  But Sherlock Holmes was already stirring in the background, quietly waiting in the wings under the alias of Gregory House, sparking something I hardly think anybody expected.

That's right!  I credit the whole Sherlock resurgence with Hugh Laurie as the infamous House MD.  With Gregory House as Sherlock Holmes, James Wilson as John Watson and Lisa Cuddy in an Irene Adler/Mrs. Hudson-esque role.  We even had a bit of a Moriorty in House's season long nemesis Tritter.   America, and very quickly most of the world, fell in love with the pill popping, sarcastic, never clean shaven, constantly rude genius, falling equally in love with the man who stayed by his side despite it all, Wilson, played beautifully by Robert Sean Leonard.  I'm not sure that even the people at Fox realized how huge the show would be, but season after season viewers loyally watched, even if the show went a bit downhill around season 5 when the it took a dark turn.  But why... WHY do we love this terrible terrible man?  Yes he saves lives, but often at the expense of not only his own team, but the patients themselves!  Is it just because we are waiting for the moments that he shows glimpses of humanity through he gruff exterior?  But with House a spark went off, a spark that led to a very new adaption of the actual Sherlock Holmes.

While House MD continued on, the people at Warner Brothers got their hands on a screenplay and ran with it.  House was working out rather well, and Holmes hadn't been put on film with any sort of seriousness since maybe the 50s so, why not?  Using the brilliant directorial talents of Guy Ritchie and a perfect storm of actors, new life was breathed into Arthur Conan Doyle's dusty character.  Robert Downey Jr was perfect for the role, being somewhat similar to Sherlock himself.  He is a genius on film, maybe not in the same way as Holmes but still, and Downey has been known for his snarky attitude, past bad behavior and lets not forget drug addiction.  Let's be honest  it really works.  So with his equally sexy counterpart Jude Law as Watson, well ladies and gentlemen we have a movie!  And this is not the boring Holmes of yesteryear!  No!  This is action packed steampunk Sherlock Holmes!  And the sequel did not disappoint, bring the steampunk themes out full force with Gatling guns blowing trees apart!  Fantastic!  But again!  Shelock Holmes is kind of a huge dick.  A huge dick with the mind of a computer, but he's spends a good part of the films poisoning Watson's dog, trying to ruin Watsons marriage and blowing apart their home.  And yet we still love him!

Hello Sexy.  Steven Moffet you wonderful creature you.  Teaming up and nerd-ing out with the equally genius Mark Gatiss to give us a whole new and very modern Shelock.  The love that Moffet and Gatiss have for Doyle's work is evident in every frame of this show, from the sets to the actors they choose.  The update is nearly flawless, Martin Freeman playing possibly my favorite Watson and Benedict Cumberbatch bringing his brilliant talent to the role (fyi if you haven't seen him play Stephen Hawking, please do because it's one of the greatest performances I've ever seen on TV, next to Claire Danes as Temple Grandin).  Cumberbatch by far plays the most removed Holmes, his genius out doing all of the other Holmes' I've described so far, but he also seems the most heartless.  This Holmes has no idea how to be human, even being described as a virgin as sex isn't necessary for his mind to solve puzzles.  We yearn for the moments when he breaks and becomes nearly human for the love of John, Mrs. Hudson and of course the love of his life Irene Adler.  Cumberbatch and Freeman play brilliantly off each other, Freeman constantly reminding Cumberbatch what social protocols are, pleading with Holmes not to leave severed body parts in the fridge or not to openly point out other's failings or not do a happy dance every time somebody ends up dead.  And here we are again, falling in love with a man who often more cruel than he is kind, but we worship him.

Step in CBS.  It worked for the BBC, lets do this.  Thus, Elementary was born, and if you can't have Benedict Cumberbatch, the next best actor you can grab is the ever brilliant Johnny Lee Miller.  As I have mentioned in other blog posts, Cumberbatch and Miller switched off roles as Frankenstein and his monster.  I've only seen bits and pieces, but Miller is fabulous, moving his body gorgeously as the monster, but he was so different from Cumberbatch's monster... that's what made the switch off brilliant.  Both actors played the same part so differently the show stayed fresh every night.  The same can be said for Elementary.  Miller may be playing the same character, but it's so unique you can't point you're finger and the TV and yell "He's not Ben!"  Elementary is another modern telling of the Doyle story.  In this version, Sherlock is a recovering addict and Liu plays his addiction councilor as the first female version of Watson.  Shelock is living in NY and helping the police while dealing with demons from his past.  Miller's Sherlock is a little more human emotionally than others, but is still ever the total tool, being rude to everybody in his path.  This show is relativity new, but already gaining notoriety... but again, why, why?

In the last 10 years we have seen more of Sherlock Holmes than any other re-inventable character, including James Bond.  But what is it about this character that we all love so much?  So much so that I haven't be able to take a single Shelock Holmes novel out of the library without being on a ridiculous wait list.  After finishing the book I just started I plan on breaking down and buying one.  But what exactly is it about the character that we love so much?  By all accounts he should be repulsive, but no, the more he pushing the more we want him.  Is it his relationship with Watson that we adore?  How Watson is able to bring real emotion to the seemingly uncaring man?  Or is it his genius, his ability to see more than we could ever dream of.  For Christ sake I don't even notice if my own shoe is untied half the time.  Maybe we watch just to see those moments of humanity and love that so contrast the Holmes we know.  Maybe it's just that they get such hot actors to play the same man.  That could be it.  No matter what, I have yet to find a Sherlock/John that I don't love, so keep it coming Hollywood/BBC, I want more!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

American Horror Story: Asylum- Series Finale (spoilers)

That face.  That Sarah Paulson old face is exactly how I've felt this whole season.  Meh, and a little angry.  And then, THEN, they have the audacity to give us a beautiful ending AND the biggest "OH SHIT" moment of the season.  Not only was it a great script, but it was GORGEOUSLY filmed.  It was so beautifully filmed that I got distracted by the cinematography at points! Now, they focus a bit heavily on Lana, I was hoping to get a bit of Sister Mary Eunice again as she was the best plot of the season, but I guess we can't get everything we want.  This season has been a total inverse of last season, the season itself kind of sucked while the ending was epic, where as last season was epic with a suck ending.  So here is the "Madness Ends" recap.

The episode begins with a flashback to the first episode.  Oh great, Adam Levine is back.  Whatever.  Anyway, it's exactly the same as the first episode, only from the perspective of Dylan McDermott (whose name btw is apparently Johnny).  He enters Briarcliff listening to a book on tape, his mother's voice reading her novel about the Asylum.  He hallucinates something wicked, seeing through the rotting structure into the past, his mother in that crazy bath thing telling him how much she hates him, his father as the goodly Dr. Threadson who tells him of all the love he missed out on.  Then he smokes some weed and chops off Levine's arm.

Flash foward a bit to Lana, older, wiser and apparently a super celebrity of Barbra Walters fame, in a Dateline type interview setting.  Now we all know how I feel about special effects makeup and I give her old age make up and A.  It was  bit rough around her lips, but that turkey neck they had going was genius.  Anyway, her life seems to have been absolutely charmed in her post bloody faced years, she even has a hot lady lovahh she proudly shows off as an out gay woman in 2012.  The interviewer wants to start with Bloodyface, but Lana refuses and they move on to Briarcliff.  We see Lana's original filming of the story she used to shut Briarcliff down.  Again amazing cinematography jumping from the 1970s camera to real time.  We see how bad Briarcliff has become.  Lana finds Jude in worse condition then ever, but then, pulling her off the filthy bed, she whispers "Lana Banana" with a slight smile.  Right in the feels... Then we find out, that's all a lie, Lana never found Jude.  That was just the ending she was hoping for.  Lana does end up getting Briarcliff shut down, then tries to expose the now Cardinal for allowing the awful human experiments of Doctor Ardin to happen under his nose.  The Cardinal ends up committing suicide, he knew all the things he had done, but you can't help feeling a little bad.

But what really happened to Jude?  Turns out Kit has the answer.  Kit says he'll talk to Lana, but not with cameras in his face.  She agrees.  After Alma passed, Kit started making regular visits to Jude.  In a touching sequence he brings her back to life from the hell she was living, and eventually he brings her into his home.  She detoxes, and falls in love with his two gorgeous children.  Unfortunately it isn't all fun and games, Jude does freak the fuck out, but Kit's alien babies take her into the woods and she comes back all better.  They live happily for 6 months until Jude falls ill and passes happily at the lips of the kind of pointless this season angel of death.  It's touching though to see what Kit does for this woman who put him through hell.  It's beautiful, really.

We then find out that Kit's kids grow to be a successful and amazing, just like he and Grace thought they would be.  He and Lana become incredibly close, which again is beautiful seeing as Lana was a total twat to Kit in the beginning.  Kit remarries and seems to live a normal life.  He ends up getting pancreatic cancer and "disappearing" which I said in conjuncture with Lana because it was so obvious.  Kit's up there with the aliens.  Happy ending?

Meanwhile at some point during the episode "Johnny" the name they apparently gave McDermott hands Lana some water.  After this happens, Lana confesses to lying about her son's death.  She tells a story about going to see him as a child and defending him from a bully.  When the interview ends Lana knows that her son is there and totally foils his plan of scaring the shit out of her.  The have a calm conversation about his feeling abandoned.  He pulls out a gun, putting it to mommy's head, but just like with Threadson, Lana is too smart.  She baby talks him into giving up the gun... THEN SHOOTS HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE!  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

But that's not even the biggest Oh Shit, of the night.  The show then reverts back to the first time Lana goes to Briarcliff and has words with Sister Jude.  Jude says something about looking into the face of evil and the zoom in on Lana's face.  Lana then leaves.  Now, reading preliminary blogs, people seem to be thinking this means that Lana made the whole thing up and was never confined, doing this all for fame.  That makes sense as all the people who would corroborate the story are dead.  But I have another theory, because there is too much detail.  For example, why would Sister Mary Eunice matter?  Or any of the plots that didn't actually involve Lana like the Aliens or Santa Clause murderer.  I think... I THINK that Lana was the real devil.  Whatever possessed Sister Mary Eunice originated not with that kid from the flashbacks of Dexter, but with Lana.  Just some food for thought.

All and all even this epic ending doesn't make up for the lackluster, choppy season, but well done anyhow.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Competition Show You're Probably Not Watching But Should Be

If you love scifi, fantasy, horror, blood, guts, and all around out of this world creatures as much as I do, you will love SyFy's Face Off.  Currently in it's 4th season, I have watched since season 1 and I just can't get enough.  If I had any artistic ability whatsoever I would have gone into special effects makeup, but, especially after watching this show, I think it would be wise for me to just stick to the makeup I put on my own face.

So what's this show about?  You may ask.  And why is it called SyFy channel now?  You may also ask.  Well, while I can answer both questions, even if the the second question is something that has caused me great annoyance 2009.  Science Fiction/Fantasy is not its own genre!!  SyFy my ass.  Anyway!  Face Off is a competition show where makeup artists go head to head (or face to face as it were).  Each week, the makeup artists are given a concept for a creature or character, they then have to design a makeup, fabricate it and apply it for the total effect.  They are given 2 days to put together designs that would take full scale movies months and many, MANY design meetings to come up with.  It's amazing to see what goes into these makeup effects!  Its not all paint and pre-made prosthetics like my Halloween costumes, OH NO!  It's hours of work sketching, sculpting, running latex or foam into your mold, then applying and painting.  Really it's unbelievable.

I will always be the first to critique makeup designs, and if I see CGI where makeup or puppets could be used, well, be prepared to hear a ton of complaining.  For days.  This show uses some of the greatest makeup artists in the world as judges, make artists that I admire greatly for creating designs I have tried to emulate myself.  Specifically the designs of Ve Neil as I was Lydia for Halloween once.  That's right, this BRILLIANT woman gave the world Beetlejuice!  Well I mean, it's Tim Burton's brainchild, but Ve brought him to life!  And, if we have to talk about brilliant make up, Ve Neil somehow turned Martin Landau into Bela Lugosi!  Look:

Also on the panel, we have a man who helped make my teenage years.  Without Glenn Hetrick's sculpting and painting, our vampires would have been boring pointy toothed monsters, not these demons:
Not only did he help shape the demon's of Buffy and Angel fame, he also made sculptures for one of my personal favoite b-movies, PUMPKINHEAD!  So awesome.  Hetrick also is responsible for effects on X-Files, Babylon 5 and some of the more interesting looks of Lady Gaga.  That's right, I said Lady Gaga.  

The final judge on the panel is Neville Page.  Now what's different about Page is that makeup isn't his specialty but character design is.  J.J. Abrams pretty much uses him for everything, he turned my love Alan Cumming into a really awesome Night Crawler and he gave the world some really famous blue guys.  No not The Smurfs, these guys:

Oh, and did I mention that the host of the show is not only hot, but is also the daughter of one of the most prolific makeup artists in American history.  That's right, Mackenzie Westmore is the daughter of Michael Westmore, the man who gave us Klingon foreheads and Volcan eyebrows.  Michael Westmore also plays a major role on the show, often mentoring the contestants as the sculpt their makeups.

This season proves to be a great one as we are only 2 episodes in and I am already blown away by the work.  I mean... LOOK:

And if anybody who is in charge of the show happens to somehow read this, please, PLEASE do a Doctor Who themed episode!  I have such a great idea, do a Doctor Who Main Baddie and ALSO a design for it's henchmen.  Doctor Who always has one main bad guy who has a bunch of henchmen who all look exactly the same.  Like the Daleks and Davross or the Silurians and their masked soldiers.  Come on!  You know it's a good idea!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Ripper Street: Series Premiere

Last night was the series premiere of BBC's Ripper Street and as with all BBC shows I was thoroughly impressed.  As far as series premiere's go this had everything, murder, sex and really really supreme acting.  Of course, I, living in America, had to watch the show on BBC America and you can't help but feel a bit cheated by the editing and commercial interruptions.  But we will get to my gripe about BBC America after I rant about the high quality of Ripper Street.

Ripper Street follows the detectives of East London known as H Division shortly after the infamous Jack the Ripper murders.  The show opens with a Jack the Ripper tour.  High class Londoners cower in fear and disgust behind a barker who brings them to all the sites where Ripper bodies were found.  It's all fun and games until you stumble upon a body.  Isn't that always the way it goes?  And, oh my, it would appear that she's been ripped, throat slit, eyes hatched and gashes all about her face.  Cue the frantic shouts of murder.

From there, the show goes on to follow Detective Inspector Edmund Reid played superbly by Matthew MacFadyen and his partner Detective Sergent Bennet Drake played by Jerome Flynn of Game of Thrones fame.  They enlist the help of American ex-field surgeon Captain Homer Jackson played by Adam Rothenberg who is a great foil to the two stuffy detectives.  Of course as I sit watching the show I can do nothing but panic about Jerome Flynn's leading role.  Does that mean curtains for the wise cracking Bronn on Game of Thrones?!  Whoever will protect Tyrion Lannister!?  Oh March you cannot come fast enough!

But I digress.  The plot follows the quest of these three men to prove whether or not Jack the Ripper committed this murder.  They are under intense public pressure since, of course, they never caught the man who tore through East London's whores like some sort of demon breeze.  On one hand the press hounds them, falsifying facts in the case to make it seem like Jack is back, on the other hand DI Reid is being hounded by his superiors, who secretly pray that it is Jack's doing so they could have the chance redeem themselves.  I will not go too deeply into the plot of the show as I would like to give people time to watch it.

Overall I found the show beautifully filmed, well written and as with all BBC productions brilliantly acted.  We have only been given a glimpse at each character, learning bits and pieces, but you can see all these men have been through in their eyes.  So far we have seen Captain Jackson as a bit of a whore monger, living in a whorehouse.  He seems to be in cahoots with Madame of the house, they both hint at hiding from something in their past and I can't wait to learn what that is.  Then there is MacFadyen who gives a wonderfully refined performance.  I have yet to be disappointed by a MacFadyen character, whether or not the film he is in is any good.  His character holds the weight of the world on his shoulders, but does so with a cool head and a steady hand.  We learn in the episode that he has a horrific looking burn on his shoulder which gives him trouble, making even putting a shirt on difficult.  How did he receive this?  I'm sure we will soon find out.  Then we have my dear Bronn, Jerome Flynn.  Flynn's character is a scrapper and a fierce fighter.  Or at least that's how he seems.  As we delve deeper into his character, we find a gentler man with high moral standards.

The only drawback to the show is BBC America.  It would have been better suited for HBO or any other non-cable channel.  Ripper Street includes graphic violence, nudity and sexual situations.  I feel like I'm missing out on the full vision of the show by watching this heavily edited version.  Not to mention the ever oddly placed commercial breaks.  Listen BBC America, I appreciate what you do, trust me I do, but sometimes it seems like you don't even try.  I've seen you cut off the end of sentences to begin commercial breaks.  I know you need commercials, your not government funded here, but Jesus!  While I'm ranting, the BBC has more to offer than Top Gear and anything involving Chef Gordon Ramsey.  If I see one more 6 hour stretch of Kitchen Nightmares I am going to scream.  And, I know you're BBC America but you don't need to show American TV shows.  We get those here.  And yes Patrick Stewart is a God who happens to be English and Star Trek Next Generation is awesome, but why do you constantly air it???  Ok, I'm biased and I wish you would only air Doctor Who, but I wouldn't mind more Graham Norton or Torchwood or Copper or bring other BBC shows over.  I know it's off season, but I know for absolute sure that Chef Gordon Ramsey is not the only entertainer Britain has to offer.

Ok back on track.  Ripper Street is a show worth watching, if not for the great cinematography and writing, but too see how the characters develop over the season.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Fringe Ends a Bit Timey Wimey Wibbley Wobbley (spoilers)

Oh folks!  It's an end of a TV watching era for me.  Not only have I watched Fringe since episode one, I had the honor of being an extra in several episodes, even working on the pilot, sitting in a warehouse with a bunch of people laying on the floor covered in goo.  I would not change my time with Fringe for the world, and in the end the show did not disappoint.  I was a bit upset that the Fox billed the finale as two episodes in a row, I would have loved to have one more week with Walter, Peter, Olivia and Astrid, but at least we got an ending worth watching.  Before I get into the million questions I have about the ending, here is a recap of the two back to back episodes:

The first hour was all about the teams bid to get Michael, the child observer, back from Windmark.  Olivia risks her life by loading Cortexifan directly into her brain stem in one of the more cringe worthy scenes of the series.  Using information attained by Broils, the undercover "Dove," Olivia crosses to the other side and with help from Faux-Livia and Lincoln she crosses back to our side in the exact location Michael is being held.  Unfortunately, the Observers have already moved him into a ominous looking surgical room for testing and annihilation.  Olivia travels in a half in one world, half in another world, state which allows her to walk through Observer central nearly untouched.  In the end she saves Michael, says a nice parting goodbye to the othersiders and returns safely back to our time.

In conjunction with this plot, we see September back at the lab.  He is constructing some future looking machine that will open a window through time which will eventually reset the timeline.  Unfortunately, the power cell has deteriorated over the years and no longer works.  September goes to December, one of the original 12 observers, explaining that December owes him a favor.  December agrees, admitting that emotions have effected him and that he and the original 12 never knew that their observation mission would lead to the decimation of the people in this time.

The second episode gets a bit more complicated.  I'm not going to get into it in full detail, but I was left with a lot of questions that can only lead to exciting discussions.  Olivia and Astrid go to retrieve the new power capsule from December only to find him hanged, loyalists crawling all over his apartment and the piece missing.  Of course everybody starts freaking out, how shall we ever reset the timeline!  Olivia asks Michael for help, but all he does is bring his finger to his lips.  You kind of sit there like "Ok....?" but suddenly Astrid comes up with the brilliant plan to use the Observers transport trucks.  Wonderful.  They will just need one more part from inside the amber to get things going.

While going through the amber, Peter discovers a tape addressed to him from Walter.  Commence water works as Walter explains that he will send Peter a letter that will make no sense, and that in 2015 he will vanish.  Walter admits to Peter that he will go with Michael into the future to guide him to the scientists that will end the existence of the current Observers but in doing so he will become and anomoly which can only be corrected if he is removed from time in 2015.  They have a beautiful little goodbye and I'll admit to tearing up.

So the plan gets set into motion, but before they really get going Broils is captured.  The team presses on despite the setback.  Before they leave, September brings Walter aside and tells him that he will be going with Michael to the future, sparing Walter's sacrifice.  Then everything gets FUCKING AWESOME.

The Fringe team breaks into Observer headquarters using technology from past fringe events.  Loyalists have monsters bursting from their stomachs, gas fills the air deforming faces and blocking airways leaving writhing bodies on the floor, observers hallucinate butterflies that cut their face.  Walter even supplies Peter will anti-gravity bullets.  When Peter question how it will help, Walter replies "Because it's cool"  I know they already did this once this season, but that doesn't stop it from being amazing.  Not only do Olivia and Peter get the parts they need, but they also save Broils.

A huge gun fight breaks out, but despite the attack, Walter is able to open the gateway.  Windmark has other plans and steals Michael away before he can cross, but Peter is grabs on for the warp.  Weirdly they only warp a few feet away and Olivia catches up.  After an pretty intense beating from Windmark, it seems like the end for Peter and Olivia, but Michael once again puts a finger to his lips.  Olivia sees the Etta bullet on the ground and drawing strength from it she goes all Cortexifan on Windmark's ass.  In one of the coolest moments on the show, Olivia not only blows out the lights in her vicinity, but shuts down the entire power grid of the city.  Drawing in all that power she slams a car into Windmark, exploding his brain.  It was pretty freaking awesome.

Just when it looks like everything is coming up roses (or tulips in the case of Fringe) September gets killed before he can cross.  So, after everything, Walter has to be the one to take Michael across and reset the timeline.  And he does.

The show then flashes back to 2015, to the day of the invasion.  Etta never gets captured, observers never come.  Olivia, Peter and Etta go back home a happy family.  Peter receives a letter from Walter.  He doesn't know it, but this is the day Walter becomes and anomaly and disappears out of time.  All that's left of him is a white tulip...

Now to figure out what the hell happened.  I'm no stranger to time rewrites, I am a Doctor Who fan after all.  When it comes to time, Doctor Who did it first.  You know the South Park episode where they repeatedly yell "Simpsons did it!" as Butters keeps coming up with zany ways to destroy the town? When it comes to time and space travel you have to yell out "Doctor Who did it!"  And just like in Doctor Who, sometimes things don't come together in the most understandable way.

There are some things that just don't sit right with me.  Throughout the two hours my dad and I discussed what would happen once the timeline was reset.  They didn't make it clear that the timeline would only be reset starting from 2015.  But the whole point of bringing Michael through time is to stop the Observers from ever existing.  So the original 12 would never have gone on their expedition since they would never have existed, meaning September would never have interrupted Walternate from finding the cure to Peter's disease, so Walter would never have to cross universes, so Peter would never exist in our universe.  Did you catch all that?  But obviously September knew all this would happen, since he is the one who whispers "the boy is important" to Walter.  Of course we always took this to mean that Peter was important, but actually he meant the child observer Michael.  So that must mean that September always knew what was going to happen... right.... RIGHT?!  So does time reset at 2015 because that is when September takes Michael into the future?  Also, the timeline was changed once already!  So is this timeline 1, meaning the first 4 seasons of the show before Peter went into the machine, or timeline 2 where Peter had drowned as a child but has come back?  Uhh my head hurts.

Also, what was with Michael putting a finger to his lips.  Was he doing some kind of Observer boy hoodoo?  Helping people realize what they should do?  There has to be a reason he did that...

No matter what, Fringe ended with great action, lots of emotion and some unanswered questions, which is exactly how a sci-fi show should end.  Well done Fringe on five awesome seasons.  I look forward to going back through, knowing what I know now, and possibly finding answers in old episodes.  I shall miss you dearly Fringe, hats off to you!

Friday, January 18, 2013

American Horror Story: Continuum (Spoilers)

That's kind of how I feel watching this season.  It's like watching a train wreck, but by GOD you just can't look away.  I'm a bit behind on my blogging, but here is my rant on Thursday's episode of American Horror Story entitled "Continuum," possibly the most confusing episode of the series so far.

The show opens with Kit pulling an ax out of a body, but it's hard to tell whose.  Bloody faced, he sits down and responds to one of his children calling to him.  I thought to myself "YES!  This is how I like to see my Evan Peters, murdering people!  Oh joyous day!"  Imagine my disappointment when we find out it wasn't actually Kit's doing at all!  Rats!  We flashback to before the ax murder and see Kit, Grace and Alma living a strange Mormon-esque lifestyle, raising their two kids with Kit switching off between baby mama's nightly.  It has been about a year since all of their lives went to shit, and things seem great.  But things aren't always as they seem as Alma becomes increasingly upset with Grace's fascination and constant drawing of the aliens that abducted them.  Alma hits the wall with Grace and delivers death using Grace's favorite weapon, slamming her with an ax twice.  Kit pulls the ax out and we are back to the beginning of the episode.

Then we find ourselves at Briarcliff, back in 1968 which is a year before the murder at the Walker family home.  Sister Jude and Pepper now seem to run the joint from the inside, playing a pretty intense game of Candy Land.  The Monsignor comes in to talk to Jude, but Jude refuses to respond as her name is now "Betty".  The Monsignor tells her that he had been promoted to Cardinal and is moving to New York, giving Briarcliff over to the government.  He promises Jude he will get her out before he leaves, but she tells him not to give her false hope, even if she seems relieved.

.The government take over of Briarcliff happens pretty fast as overflow from the prison come in quickly.  Three women saunter in and one of them is the Angel of Death herself!  Well Jude nearly wets herself in fear, especially when she find out that this tough talking, beehive wearing, cigarette smoking angel is her roommate.  Jude warns her to stay away.  The next day, the tough Angel of Death stabs on of the original Briarcliff crazies for taking his meds instead of pinching them for her to sell.  Jude is really starting to lose her shit, and as she walks back to her room we see Alma entering Briarcliff....wait?  Didn't she kill Grace a year from now?  Well that makes zero sense.

Jude, now back in her room, wakes up to find the Angel in her true form, lips inches from hers.  Jude freaks the fuck out and  security runs into her room to find her beating up a woman who isn't the Angel at all.  Jude finds herself in her old office, in a strait jacket and looking rather confused.  She demands to see the Monsignor, only to be told by the new head of Briarcliff that became Cardinal two years earlier.  Jude becomes just as confused as me, as she insists she just talked to him a day ago, "Ask Pepper!" but NOPE, Pepper apparently died a year and a half ago.  What... WHAT?!!

Now it's 1969.  Lana is now making a mint on her story.... even if some of it is totally made up.  As she reads a passage from her book, "Maniac" we realize this part of the book is about something that never happened to her.  Lana you liar!  Bloodyface never brought another woman down to you!  Luckily, I didn't have to shout that at the TV as Threadson does it for me, standing up and calling Lana out.  Then Lana's girlfriend stands up, accusing her of leaving out the fact they were lovers from the book.  Of course, Lana is imagining all this and the audience at the book signing sympathizes with this poor woman.  As she signs books for her adoring fans, we find out that Lana has turned into a superbitch, yelling at her assistant and being super demanding.  Then Kit shows up and Lana changes her tune.

Kit and Lana go to coffee, where Lana brags about her career and future novels, until Kit totally calls her out on not bringing down Briarcliff.  Burn!  Kit tells Lana that not only did Alma die there, but Jude is still alive!  Lana leaves shaken, and Kit leaves pissed.  As Kit goes to his beat up truck, I half expected to see the bodies of his kids in the back, but nothing so exciting, but as he drives away time changes yet again and we see Dylan McDermott (whose name I don't believe has yet been mentioned) sitting in a car looking rather ominous.

The episode ends with McDermott demanding his mothers book from an elderly shop owner.  He tells the owner of the bookstore who he is, and she tells him that Lana's only child was her rape baby, and that he died at birth.  McDermott goes nuts, telling the woman that not only is he her son, but he is going to call her out on all her lies and then shoot Lana in the face.  At this point she kind of deserves it.

All and all the episode was entertaining, but I still really hate that the Sister Mary Eunice plot has been wrapped up.  I think this season would have been much more successful if they focused on less, but next week is the series finally, so if they tie it all together beautifully I will be more than impressed... Until next week AHS... until next week.  I'm putting a lot of faith in you.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Netflix! You Cheeky Bitch!

Whether or not people have forgotten about the Netflix/Qwikster debacle of 2011 it was something that hit the company hard.  I know a lot of people who quickly turned around and dropped the service due not only to the weird split company, but to the price increase.  My father, whose Netflix I was using, nearly immediately cancelled his subscription, feeling that not only had the CEOs suffered some sort of collective aneurysm but that there wasn't enough content available for him to waste his money on.  I myself hardly used the site feeling that it easier to find most of the shows I watched by using websites like megavideo or sidereel, besides the fact we don't live together so I had to rely on streaming which never had anything I wanted to watch.

Despite Netflix's struggles, within the last year they have offered many more streaming options, constantly expanding their content. Of course it helped that The Piracy Act has made it really hard to stream videos.  Today Netflix released some of the most exciting news!  Netflix has finally made a deal with Time Warner!  "So what?" you may wonder.  SO WHAT!  So now you can stream any Cartoon Network/Adult Swim show!  As a cartoon connoisseur and Adult swim fan I now have tons of shows that I love at my fingertips! Now, they haven't listed all of the shows which will be streaming, so far only releasing information about Adventure Time, Regular Show, Johnny Bravo, Robot Chicken and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  While I love all of those shows I'm hoping they will also stream all old cartoon network shows (ie Cow and Chicken) but most importantly I pray to the media Gods that The Mighty Boosh is included in the deal as I believe American rights to the show are owned by Adult Swim... COME ON MIGHTY BOOSH!

Netflix is now also offering several series produced by Warner Bros including FRINGE (oh yeah!), Chuck, The West Wing, Evolution and the ever vague "And More!"  Not to forget that this May, 14 new Arrested Development episodes will be released all at once!  More info on that here:

No George Michael!  It's a great day for being happy!

So Netflix, you cheeky bitch, your luck has changed, and I think you will be getting back a lot of the subscribers you lost in 2011, well played... well played.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Unexpected indeed!  Now I know I'm a bit behind the ball seeing this movie.  I was sick when it came out and in no shape to sit through three hours, so today I finally ventured out of my house to experience Tolkien's epic tale.  And I fucking loved it.

Now of course, every one of my friends who wanted to see this movie didn't wait for me.  That's okay, I know I wouldn't wait for them to see something I'm obsessed with.  Unfortunately, when everybody sees something before you do they feel the need to tell you how you will feel about it.  Every single person said "well you if you didn't read the book you won't like it."  Well nerd-world, I admit I haven't read The Hobbit, and I still loved it, so poo on you.  I had ample time to read it, but I never read any of the LOTR books before I saw the movies and it wasn't a problem.  Actually, every time a book that I love gets made into a movie I am always disappointed.  I have my imagined view of characters and places, I have attached laughs, tears and hours of my time into series, but it's not your point of view that gets poured into the film versions, it's somebody else's.  Of course many of them are great movies in their own right, but it's never the same experience that you had curled up reading the book.

I was really mad at The Hobbit too.  Why you ask?  Because of the Hobbit Aidan Turner, my sexy vampire, left Being Human, which ultimately made the entire original cast leave.  Luckily, the Being Human writers snuck in a new cast that I fell in love with without my even realizing it, well done.  But I thought, there are so many dwarves in this film he probably wont be in it at all, and ladies and gents, doesn't he make a fine looking dwarf?
But ho!  Mr. Turner actually had a lot of screen time a Kili!  And he was quite good too.  But I still miss Mitchell.

The dwarves in general were wonderful, each given ample time to show great personality through a lot of makeup, and a LOT of hair.  They were all so entertaining!  They killed it (literally) in the action sequences, but also made you laugh and when they sang, my GOD those songs spoke to my soul!

But dwarf ranting aside, the movie was excellent and with a cast like that how could it NOT be.  My dear darling Martin Freeman who isn't new to breathing life into a fictional characters, starting with Arthur Dent and moving on to our lovely Watson, was just brilliant!  He is just genius.  His portrayal alone made me want to go home and pick up the book, which will actually have to wait because like an insane person I have a book queue.  That's right Freeman, you nailed it.

It was also great to see so much of the original cast back to reprise their LOTR roles.  Ian Mckellen always fabulous, Hugo Weaving a constant gem, Christopher Lee slightly terrifying and Cate Blanchett ever gorgeous.  And of course Andy Serkis who shines through CGI.  We even had a bit of Elijah Wood in there which made me smile.  And... was there a Doctor in the mix?  Why yes!  Yes there was!  Sylvester McCoy, the 7th Doctor, playing the delightful Radagast the Brown who made me not only laugh, but tear up a bit as he found his forest friends laying dead and dying around him.  We even got the itty bittiest bit of my love Benedict Cumberbatch as the Necromancer.  Sure it was just a grumble and a shadow, but I'd recognize that voice anywhere.  Oh I so can't wait to see you in your full glory.

Peter Jackson just does beautiful things.  Everything so filmed so gorgeously.  He is one of the few directors that blends CGI with reality so seamlessly that you wonder exactly which you're looking at.  The sound design was something I was especially impressed with.  That's random I know, but the sound was 360.  In the forest scenes it wasn't just general bird chirping but I could hear different birds chirping in different parts of the threatre.  During a fight scene I even turned around thinking one of the 1000 people who had gotten up to pee had fallen down behind me, only to realize it was sound design.  Not to mention that the script itself was written in such a way that as somebody who hasn't read the book could completely follow what was going on.  I only found myself confused one time during the entirety of the movie.  Honestly, I wouldn't have even noticed that the movie was so long if I didn't have to pee about an hour and a half in.  But I held it and watched on.

So to all you nay sayers who told me I wouldn't like it, tough cookies because I LOVED it.  I am very much looking forward to the next installment due out in December of this year.  Maybe by then I'll have read the book, though I'm afraid to possibly ruin the movie for myself.  We shall see!

Thursday, January 10, 2013



If this Next Generation Big Bang Theory picture doesn't say it all then you understand nothing.  That's right CBS killed it tonight with ALL three shows I follow on Thursday nights.  Big Bang Next Generation, amazing, Person of Interest kept me interested the whole hour and GOOD LORD was Elementary fantastic!  Be ready for a rant internet cuz here it comes.

Even though I really REALLY want to start with Elementary because I watched it hand to mouth, bug eyed for the entire hour, but I will save the best for last and start with BBT.  Tonight's Big Bang Theory clearly exhibited my definition of nerd.  Something you are irrationally obsessed with and will fight about until you lose friends.  The girls discovered this as they wondered why the boys are so obsessed with comics.  They even wonder out loud how something fake could spark such intense passion.  Such intense passion, in fact, that the boys go to a small ComicCon dressed as cast members of Next Generation, Sheldon as Data, Raj as Worf, Leonard as Capt. Jean Luc Picard and Howard as a Borg.  FYI- I practically grew up on Next Generation so imagine my squeals of delight as each cast member was revealed, though I wonder why they left Riker out.  I would have thought Howard would want to be the sexy bearded Number 1.  This is the most exciting part of the boys story.  They go to the desert where many Star Trek episodes were filmed to take pics, their car gets stolen and nobody will pick up the nerds.  That's that.

The girls plot was what interested me.  They decide to read some comics in order to understand their boys irrational obsessions better.  At first they don't get it, finding the comics stupid.  But then they start arguing by who could weild Thor's hammer and it gets out of control.  I love this because 90% of the time the things I nerd-out about I hated at first.  But then the more I think about it, the more I theorize, I become obsessed.  The girls fight the rest of the episode culminating in my favorite lines about whether or not Red Hulk could wield the hammer,

I'll be brief with Person of Interest.  I enjoyed the episode as it wasn't the usual get a number save a life plot. This was all about getting John out of jail with vignettes of Fusco doing the get a number save a life thing.  Actually Fusco was quite hilarious, saving some sexy Russian gal from some gun wielding baddies.  It was also good to see Elias again, who in turn helps John get out.  Just when John gets out PLOT TWIST he and Carter get caught then PLOT TWIST Johns past catches up with him.  This proves to lead into more interesting things in upcoming episodes.

Now for the creme de la creme.  Elementary was freaking awesome because THIS happened:

Vinnie Jones vs Jonny Lee Miller.  Fucking Brilliant.  They could have done the whole damn episode with just the two of them because they are so superb.  Jonny Lee Miller you are AH-MAZING.  Just, gosh, he had me hand to mouth the entire episode.  He is such an underrated actor, what he did in tonight episode was soul sucking, I nearly cried.  That's right, Johnny Lee is the actors version of a dementor.

Now, I'm kind of sad to have learned that Vinnie Jones isn't actually Moriarty, but if they cast him as the henchmen can you even imagine who M might really be?  There is about a 20 minute long scene where Sherlock considers killing this man he thinks is M and the play between Jones and Miller is pure poetry, but I have to say every time Jones opened his mouth I expected bullet teeth.  AND this was the first time I was interested in what Watson was doing, she is finally opening up, TOUCHING a weeping Sherlock.

Okay, seriously I'm done.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

American Horror Story: Spilt Milk (spoilers)

Well AHS, I am crying over the spilt milk that is this season and DAMN IT

I don't love Kit half as much as I miss my dear, darling, dead Tate.

This episode, as well as all the episodes this season, has been well, eh.  I have to say though, I found this it to be the most beautifully filmed and well lit episode of the season, building tension where there wasn't really any at all.

The episode starts with Dylan McDermott (whose ass I miss, it used to be on screen like, once an episode).  He is being breast-fed by a hooker.  Yeah.  As he does he tells the story of his parents through the use cool camera tricks like looking through the mirror into the past and switching from Threadson's roaring fire to McDermott's cold one. It should be noted the hooker (who McDermott later ends up choking) says "titty" at least 45 times.

We'll follow Lana and Threadson first.  Mother superior helps Lana get out on the word of Sister Jude.  She gets with her file and the tape of Threadson's confession to being bloody face.  There is a great moment where Threadson talks to Kit on the stairs as Lana is making her escape.  They split screened between Lana and Threadson building great tension.  Threadson realizes it was Lana to late as she presses the tape against the taxi window and gives the nutter the bird.

Lana shows up at Threadson's with a gun to rub salt in his wounds and ascertain the whereabouts of her dear Wendy's body.  There is a lot of tension, and we witness the 3rd rape of the season, which to be fair was with Wendy's dead body, but still.  Apparently Threadson needed practice for the warm blooded girls.  Then Lana blows his brains out as Threadson reaches for his gun.  Lana writes a book about her ordeal in some effort to close Briarcliff down.

On the referral of one of her lesbian friends Lana decides to get an illegal abortion in what appears to be a hotel.  Just before the doctor starts Lana FINALLY freaks the fuck out and decides nobody else should die.   Then, a now visibly pregnant Lana goes to get Sister Jude out, only to be told by the Monsignor that she hanged herself and was cremated  but Lana is too smart for that.  She has the baby, doesn't want to see it, but ends up breastfeeding her son as he is allergic to the formula.  And that's that for the Lana/Threadson bit of the show.

Now for Kit and Grace.  Kit and Grace are over the moon about their son.  Grace explains to him about what she remembers of the aliens, which was weird and involved barbie doll versions of Grace and Alma sans nipples or vaginas.  Anyway, Grace tells him time works differently "up there" meaning space I guess, but the aliens aren't infallible and unfortunately Alma didn't make it.  As the two of them fawn over their baby boy until the Monsignor comes to take the baby away as Kit and Grace are unfit parents.

In between this, Threadson is killed, so Kit is now free to go.  He signs his release paper (which side bar he is told to sign in two places and only signs one which irked me).  Once he is a free man he demands to see the Monsignor who is now running the joint.  Kit tells him to release Grace as she is technically dead or he'll tell the world about all the terrible things going on at Briarcliff.

Grace and Kit go back to Kit's home which is still a mess from the alien invasion.  They seem really happy, but I still think its weird because Grace did ax murder her family.  Whatever.  Anyway, the only gasp worthy moment of the night is when Kit hears something in the bedroom.  He heads in with a baseball bat only to find a very alive ALMA on the bed hold a baby which is presumably is also Kit's.  Talk about Modern Family.

There is also a verbal scuffle between Jude and the Monsignor which isn't very noteworthy, but it should be mentioned that Jude is NOT dead but in a very teeny, tiny solitary confinement praying her ass off.

Never once in the episode is it mentioned that Arden committed suicide.  Hm.

I miss season one SO MUCH!  I was terrified to go to bed after watching that season!  I was so horrified watching on a few occasions I had to cover my face in abject horror.  It was a JOYRIDE!  OH!  This season is just too too TOO much!  I haven't been scared once, nor have I had the kind of shock to the system that finding out Violet was dead caused me.  This season is a dud.

And we need Sister Mary Eunice back.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Gearing Up for GoT

So let me be the first to admit I haven't read these books, though I keep saying I will.  I guess I have fallen so in love with the show that I'm almost afraid to read to books.  And at this point I wouldn't read past A Clash of Kings for fear of ruining the show for myself.  That being said I have no idea who the characters are or if they are well cast BUT I am pretty excited about the new actors involved.

First Clive Russel who plays the crazy Captain Tanner in the Sherlock Holmes movies.  Oh come on you know him!  Crazy guy, smokes a pipe, is really really mean to Watson.... yes that's the one!  Next is Nathalie Emmanuel who I had to look up on IMDB.  Apparently she is in a episode of Misfits which everybody keeps telling me I need to watch.  Not to much known there, other than the fact that she is quite pretty.

Then BAM!  Mackenzie Crook!  Oh now I know you all had a bit of a nerd-gasm.  Pirates of the Caribbean meets GoT.  You can NOT hate that.  And don't forget his FABULOUS performance as Gareth Keenan on the original Office.  You internet-ers wouldn't even have your "FALSE" Dwight meme if it wasn't for Crook's performance as Gareth.

Next young Kerry Ingram.  This is only her second role ever, but it she is having some streak seeing as she was just in Les Miserables, so yey for her!

Then BAM AGAIN!  Thomas Brodie-Sangster, the little boy who made us all "awww" as he ran through an airport to profess his love in Love Actually, the bratty son who is the ringleader of his brothers and sisters in Nanny McFee, the student who helps change the Time Lord back to his Doctor-y self in Dr. Who (co-starring in both Family of Blood episodes with Harry Lloyd aka Viserys Targaryen) AND apparently the voice of the oft mum Ferb in Phineas and Feb.  Oooooh this is too good!

ELLIE KENDRICK!  I nearly rolled off my couch!  Why you ask?  Because I ADORE Being Human.  Kendrick played the adorably nerdy she-wolf Allison in the episode "Puppy Love" which was one of my favorite episodes last season.  The sweet hearted, completly innocent and always confused looking werewolf Tom falls head over heals for Allison.  Oh Gosh it was just all too adorable.  I can't stand it!

Richard Dormer I don't know much about, so back to IMDB.  It seems he has been in loads of things I've seen and he absolutely has the GoT look, I'm excited to get to know him better through this role.  This is the same for Paul Kane who was apparently also in an episode of Being Human, but I'm having trouble picturing him.

Diana Rigg is bringing in the big guns this season.  Her career has spanned from 1959 to now.  54 years.  Phew!  Most notably she played Emma Peel in the 60s TV series the Avengers, which they tried and failed to make into a movie in 1998.  She is also a classical phenomenon playing roles in everything from Midsummer Nights Dream to Hedda Gabler to King Lear to Snow White.  She proves to bring a beautiful performance to the character of Olenna Tyrell "The Queen of Swords".

Again, I know nothing about the characters these actors are playing but judging by what I know and have researched they are all brilliant performers as GoT would take nothing less.  The countdown to season 3 begins!