Bates Motel: If You're Not Watching This Show, You Should Be

This is the kind of tension you just don't get on TV anymore!  A heart pounding thriller that needs little blood, nearly no gore or extreme violence to prove it's point.  Seriously in the first 5 minutes of this weeks episode "Trust Me" had my heart racing, but all of it was done with the delicacy of Alfred Hitchcock.  So little entertainment now-a-days doesn't shove sex and gore and CGI and blood in your face.  This show has sex and violence but none of it is over the top.  We just see enough to get our emotions to peak and leave us wanting more.

This weeks episode starts where last weeks ended.  Norman is doing his creepy Psycho walk to Shelby's house to get the belt he took from Keith when they dumped his body.

During last weeks episode, we saw a motorcycle drive by, it looked to just be for artistic effect, but in actuality it was Dylan.  Dylan sees Norman sneak into Shelby's house, and provides distraction for Norman to get out.  Little does he know that Norman is being clawed by a drugged up sex slave in the basement, but Norman gets out with just a few scratches.  Dylan calls Norman out on his actions later, but Norman denies, denies, denies.  It's becoming hard to figure out what Norman believes verses what he's made up.

Norman goes to visit Emma, to tell her what he's seen, but her father comes to the door.  Oh, hello Professor Quirrell, it's weird to see you without Voldemort on the back of your head.  Glad to see you got that cleared up.  Anyway, Emma's father tells Norman that she is sick and can't be seen.  He then goes on to tell Norman that he knows Emma has a crush on him, so Norman needs to be respectful.  Norman promises.  Meanwhile, poor Bradley's dad has passed.  She begins spending more and more time with Norman as she feels he is the one person who understands how she feels.  LOOOVVVEEE TRIANGLE!!!

Anyway, the show becomes a lot of set up from here on in, but I was happy to watch because I know this is the kind of show where every interaction, every shot has a purpose.  Basically, Norma is still screwing Shelby.  Norman begs her to stop in the creepiest scene ever, even defending his jealousy of his mom's new relationship with, "You're my mother not my girlfriend!"  Norman goes as far as to tell his mother about the sex slave, but when Norma checks out the situation she finds nothing.  She explains to Norman that he sometimes sees things, but Norman won't hear it.  So what does Norma make her possibly totally insane son do?  Go FISHING with the one guy Norman would potentially try to kill, Shelby.

Tension builds throughout the episode, "Oh God, Oh God," became my mantra as Shelby tries to bond with Norman over fishing.  It's awkward and painful to watch and just as Norman's face starts to turn Psycho, Shelby gets a phone call.

You know they found Keith's body and your heart is pounding.  It turns out only to be his hand, but its enough to make you wish you were dead.

Norma get's taken in for questioning again.  Turns out they found carpet fibers under Keith's watch which they will be able to match to the carpet Norma threw out.  Norma tries in vain to get those carpets back, but she knows she's screwed and spends most of the rest of the episode crying.  Norman screams at her, telling her that she should have just called the cops like he said, but she admits that killing Keith wasn't self defense. Norma's been through some shit, it's obvious her back story is an epic one and I cannot wait to hear it.

As Norma weeps away in her room, Norman storms outside to find Dylan drinking and smoking.  They have some brotherly bonding as Norman confesses everything that happened with Keith and Norma.  In a touching moment, Norman takes a shot of whisky and coughs on it.  When Dylan giggles Norman says in the most wounded voice ever "Don't laugh at me."  After Norman gets the murder off his chest, Bradley texts him.  Dylan convinces Norman to go be with Bradley.  And then...

******NORMAN GETS LAID!!!!!******

With some beautiful blue filtered cinematography we find Norman and Bradley under the covers.  Okay so we don't know if that actually were having sex, but that's what was implied so I'm going with it.  I'm really surprised at the choice of getting Norman laid, but I'm sure somehow Norma will psychologically torture him about it.

At the end of the episode, Norma realizes that Norman isn't home.  Dylan tells her that Norman is out with a girl and he hopes he's getting laid.  She freaks the fuck out.  But she doesn't have time to get too upset because SHE FUCKING GETS ARRESTED FOR MURDER.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY IS THIS SHOW SO GOOD!!!???

Doctor Who: Who The F Is Clara Oswald?

In last night's episode, "The Rings of Akhaten" we got some real juicy tidbits about the current life of Clara.  I say current because we already know that she has lived (and died) twice, at least.  But looking past the question of who she is, I think this episode was pivotal in just allowing the audience to fall even more in love with the character.  I found the first the first incarnation of Clara we met, Oswin the Dalek, a but cloying and slightly obnoxious though she was clever.  The second version, the late 1800s Clara, was sweet, kind and even ballsy, but I felt like she lacked the fire that other companions have, something felt incomplete.  But this Clara is a perfect mix of the two, she super smart, super kind and full of bravery and adventure.  Not to mention the fact the Jenna Louise-Coleman is drop dead gorgeous, but we all know the Doctor enjoys his hotties.

"The Rings of Akhaten" starts with the Doctor spying on Clara's parents.  You see, Clara's life starts with a leaf.  The most important leaf in the universe.  The leaf that fell in the right moment, by the right gust of wind, into the right face.  You see, this very special leaf smacks Clara's father in the face, blinding him from an oncoming car.  Thankfully, Clara's mom was there to push him out of the way and of course they fall in love. The Doctor then travels through points in Clara's life as she grows up with her parents, all the way through Clara's mother's untimely death.

This whole sequence obliterates every theory I've had about Clara.  My top theories were that she was the Doctor's daughter from the episode... well "The Doctor's Daughter".  Of course there is a huge hole in that theory because when the doctor's daughter regenerates in that episode she looks exactly the same.  My other theory was something like in the episode "Night Terrors" in which an emphatic alien becomes the child his adoptive parents always wanted using a perception filter.  Now, this theory isn't totally thrown out the window, but it doesn't seem likely.

Now, the doctor takes Clara to the Rings of Akhaten, the first time Clara has actually taken a trip through time and space in the TARDIS.  She's only actually traveled in it in her own time, on her own planet.  Anyway, on the planet there is a market place that reminded me SO much of of the Troll Market from Hellboy 2.  Now, as Clara looks around in wonder, the Doctor tells her that he has been here before with his Granddaughter.  HIS GRANDDAUGHTER!  To my knowledge this is the first time since the Doctor Who reboot that the Doctor refers to Susan.  The Doctor has talked about having children, but Susan is the first companion we ever see the Doctor with in the very very first episode those fateful 50 years ago.  I nearly did a back flip with joy.  But I can't do back flips, so a squeaky noise with rapid clapping was the best I could do.

Anyway, invariably, the Doctor and Clara get separated and Clara runs into a little girl in need.  Clara is unbelievably amazing with children, and when the girl, who turns out to be Merry, The Queen of Years, needs to hide, Clara takes her to the TARDIS.  Only, there is a problem, the TARDIS doesn't like Clara and won't let her in.

OOOOOOHHhhh.  Now, we all know that the TARDIS doesn't like paradoxes.  That's why when there were two Amy's in "The Girl Who Waited" only one could be saved, or why the Doctor left Jack behind when Rose saved him and he became undying.  If the TARDIS doesn't like Clara she must be one big fat timey wimey anomaly.

Anyway, it turns out that Merry is just scared because she has to sing a song to a God and she is nervous that she will get it wrong.  Clara encourages her by telling her a story about how she was terrified of getting lost as a child, but her mother would tell her  "Wherever you are I will find you."  Well, Clara seems to exist throughout time.  Does her mother know that?  Juicy, juicy, timey, wimey, goodness.

SO Clara convinces her to sing, Yada, yada, yada, everything goes wrong, the God wakes up and now wants to feed on peoples soul's, aka, their memories.  Now things kind of run like regular Doctor Who episode, but for me this episode is all about the clues to Clara.  Basically, the God they thought was a mummy wakes up, but it turns out the God.. is actually the sun, ready to feast on thousands of memories.  Well who has thousands of memories, THE DOCTOR of course!  He tries to sacrifice all of his years of memory in a beautiful bit of acting (I love you Matt Smith):

This scene of sacrifice only solidified for me that Matt is ready to leave.  I don't think the 11th Doctor can take much more.  Anyway, his memories aren't enough, so Clara sacrifices something huge.  The most important leaf in the universe.  The leaf that represents all of the days her mother never lived.  All of the potential energy of thousands of un-lived days is enough to tame the God and save the worlds surrounding it.

Weirdly, at the end of the episode, the Doctor takes Clara back home.  You swear she is going to stay in the TARDIS, but she goes.  She obviously knows the Doctor will be back and she will go on adventures, but she is the first not to just stay on the TARDIS indefinitely.  Before she leaves, however, she asks the Doctor why her, and he admits that she reminds him of somebody who died.  Clara tells the Doctor that whoever she was, Clara is her own person and doesn't want to be compared to the dead.  Of course, we know the Doctor is talking about exactly the same person.

I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHO/WHAT CLARA IS!!!  Anyway, check out who comes back in next weeks episode:

Seems like this whole season is going to be a Doctor Who: This is your life!

Elementary: Miss Hudson The New Transexual Voice On American TV

As if I couldn't love and respect this show more for breaking the boundaries of whats on typical American network TV, Elementary does it again.  First, they change Doctor Watson from a stuffy dude, to a stuffy dude-ette, an Asian women no less, one of the least represented cultures on American TV, then they update a classic nearly flawlessly, give the fantastic Johnny Lee Miller a platform to be brilliant, and now, NOW they have cast a transgendered woman to play one of the most beloved Shelock Holmes characters Miss Hudson.  How can you not love it?

Meet Candis Cayne, formally Brendan McDaniel, a very successful transgender actress.  This is the kind of confidence, talent and bravery that doesn't get awarded enough in the country.  Bravo CBS, you have just done something no network show has successfully done.  You have cast a LGBT actor in a role where they are neither the victim nor the comic relief, she's just a normal person.  Yes, they make it known that she was once a man but it is quickly breezed over it.  It doesn't really matter and I LOVE it!  And she's some kind of genius   Oh I am loving this, I am eating this up!  That's right CBS, Bravo!  And not to mention, Cayne is FABULOUS.  I mean, yes she is gorgeous, see above picture, but she is a talented actress.  The scene where she Sherlock's apartment was my favorite part of this very blah episode.

Tonight's episode "Snow Angels" may not have been a knock out episode, but the introduction of Miss Hudson made it for me.  I hope to see her in many more episodes now that she is going to be the housekeeper at the Sherlock/Watson abode, especially because she has great chemistry with both Miller AND Liu.  In fact, I find her repartee with Liu a lot of fun, I can see them having a great girls night out.  Can you see a Joan Watson/Miss Hudson get their kiki on.  I can.

Bates Motel: Trust Me (spoilers)

Oh, this show!  I'm just loving it!  Okay I know this post is a day late, but I just had to blog about it because this show is just too good not to.  In last night's episode "Trust Me" we were given a lot of info in one episode, but luckily they pulled it all off without jumping the shark.  The Norman Bates from Psycho is really starting to shine and boy is Freddie Highmore a delight to watch.

Last night's episode starts with Dylan fooling around with a gun.  It's pretty obvious that he will be working for the drug lords that are tending the enormous weed field that Norman and Emma ran into in the last episode.  At the weed field, he stands guard (which really consists of drinking beers) he bonds with his fellow guard.  They hunt and chat.  Dylan explains the weird relationship with his family, including that he literally knows nothing about his mother or half-brother.  It is then explained that the burning body was just one of the men involved with the marijuana trade who was there to send a message.  Kind of boring but whatever.

Meanwhile, Norman goes to school, acting totally normal as if in the last week he didn't help cover up a murder and then get chased by drug lords.  Well, Emma isn't as together as Norman is and freaks out threatening to go to the police with the book.  Suddenly cool calm collected Norman snaps and practically screams at Emma, he will not let her go to the police.  He apologizes but he is obviously shaken after their encounter.  While in class, Norman seems totally out of it.  He stares at the test sitting in front of him, totally motionless and LORD is it creepy.  Miss Sexy Teacher leans over Norman, asking if he's okay, but Norman is in another world as he pictures Miss Watson as one of the women tied up and tortured from the book.  And then he passes out.

Norman ends up in the hospital and mother is FREAKING OUT!  The doctor keeps trying to get information from her, but it seems Norma is incapable of telling the truth.  When the doctor asks if this has ever happened to Norman before Norma gives him a blank look but quickly denies it wondering why the doctor would even ask a question like that.  But, we know this is a lie.  The first time we even meet Norman he is passed out, waking up groggy from some sort of episode.  Now we have to wonder... was it Norman who killed his father?  OooOoooOooo.

While waiting for tests to come back, Norma gets a phone call that the new carpet for the motel has arrived.  Norman encourages her to go.  Norma agrees and goes back home... and it seems the cops follow her because they burst in with a search warrant.  Well shit.

Back at the hospital, Norman gets a visit from the beautiful Bradley who has brought him flowers.  They talk about what it's like to lose a parent, though her father isn't dead yet, it doesn't look good.  She snuggles up next to Norman in his hospital bed and whispers that all she wants is to be happy.

While the cops continue to search the Bates Motel, Norma runs back to the hospital.  When she walks into the room she has a horrified expression, and the audience hearts collectively  drops into their asses as we all fear that Bradley is still snuggling with Norman, but thank GOD it's just the doctor to explain the tests are negative.  Despite the doctors urging to keep Norman overnight, Norma quickly shuffles him out, explaining to Norman the the cops are searching their place.  Norman FREAKS OUT asking her over and over again if they found anything, but Norma insists there is nothing to find.  When they get home Norman runs upstairs... you see.. he kept the BELT...  when he realizes it's gone he weeps asking "What's wrong with me" over and over".  What the hell is wrong with you!  WHY WOULD YOU KEEP THAT!?  Oh, Norman.

Norma, thankfully, is able to finagle a meeting with Shelby.  She goes to his house and he explains that he found the belt.  He asks Norma to explain, but he promises to protect her as they start making out.  Norman, however is home freaking out that Mother isn't home.  Dylan does come home, and after his conversation with his fellow guard decided to try to bond with Norman, and then this happens:

NORMAN DOESN'T REMEMBER TRYING TO KILL DYLAN!  OH SHIT!  HE IS BLACKING OUT!  NORMA MUST KNOW!

Later Norma comes home and explains that Shelby will protect them.  All seems like it will be ok... until while Norman is asleep Norma comes back and blames it all on Norman.  She tells him he knows he has to do.  "I have to get the belt".  Norman walks to Shelby, giving us full face serial killer realness.  GOD does Highmore nail it.  He looks around the house in a high tension scene and comes across what we never expect.... one of ties up Asian girls in his basement:

Norman asks her is shes okay just as Shelby pulls up and BOOM!  The episode ends!

OH.  MY.  GOD.  Norman is already displaying a multi-personality disorder.  How long can Norma protect him.  And it makes you wonder... is the drugged up girl in the basement real?  Or is she a figure of Norman's disillusions... I CANNOT WAIT to find out the answer.

GAME OF THRONES IS BACK! (Spoilers)

Oh what a glorious weekend!  Not only is it Easter, we have gotten new Doctor Who, the premier of Orphan Black and season 3 of Game of Thrones had finally started.  Oh HBO, why must you make us wait so long between seasons?!  Well I guess absence only makes the heart grow fonder.  It's so amazing to see all of the characters we've fallen in love with back on screen (well a few of them weren't in tonight's premier but soon)... of course when it comes to GoT we have to spend every single episode fearing for their lives.  Nobody is safe in George R.R. Martin's fantastic little world.

So, to give a blow by blow of what happened in this episode is just impossible.  GoT is quite possibly the most complicated show on TV, following more characters than I can count at the moment as my brain is still on fire from watching the new episode.  Not to mention everybody has a completely different plot line... yes most of them are out to get the iron throne, but so many are sneaker than that.  So I'll give the most important plot points in the characters most followed in this episode.

Samwell Tarly:  Oh gosh the White Walkers are active again.  The show opens with their horrifying cries followed by the screams of a dying man... Sam is thankfully saved by one of the White Walker zombie minions by Jon Snow's dog and whats left of the Night's Watch.

Jon Snow:  Jon is taken to Wildlings camp where he sees things he has never seen before.  He is taken to the leader where he pledges allegiance.  Of course, it's hard to believe Jon would actually betray the Night's Watch, but when he tells the Wildlings of the White Walker's and the Night's Watch feigned ignorance of them, the Wildlings accept him into the pack.

Davos Seaworth:  IS ALIVE?!  That's right, despite his ship (and his son) being blown apart by dragon fire last season Seaworth made it through!  Not only that, but he is immediatly able to flag down a ship to rescue him... and who's ship is it?  Why none other than his pirate friend Salladhor Saan!  Well that all worked out rather well for him.  Saan tells Seaworth that Stanis has... lost his mind.  He spends all his time with the Red Woman and does nothing but burn prisoners.  After much begging, Saan takes Seaworth to Stannis... but Stannis won't leave the Red Lady and when Seaworth goes after her with a knife Seaworth is imprisoned.

Robb Stark:  Robb goes to Harrinhal to pick a fight with Tywin Lannister but comes up short as... well everybody is dead.  No, really... Everybody.  Is.  Dead.  Still pissed at his Mom for setting Jaime free, he has her imprisoned there.

Tyrion Lannister:  My how the mighty have fallen.  Tyrion is first accosted by his sister, they have a battle of words but tensions are high.  Tyrion's going to meet with Daddy dearest (or not) and it has Cersei on edge.  But the meeting with Dad doesn't go so well.  See Tyrion just wants Casterly Rock, it's his birthright and he just kicked ass in battle.  Well, Daddy doesn't want his freaky mom-killing son to have Casterly Rock, telling Tyrion that he will be given a job, a salary and a better home but he will never have the family castle.  Never.  Poor Tyrion.

Margaery Tyrell:  Now on her way to being queen, Tyrell's whorey-ness has been toned down.  Actually she's quite lovely, stopping at an orphanage, speaking to the children and giving them toys.  In fact, her kindness seems to melt Joffery's douchey little heart.  It may have grown three sizes that day.  But Tyrell isn't impressing Cersei, oh now a battle of tongues begins.  Cersei is one crazy bitch, Tyrell better watch her half naked back.

Sansa Stark:  Nothing too exciting, but Littlefinger is planning on taking her away.  Of course Shea vows to protect her but when Littlefinger is involved... well this plot will prove to be interesting.

Daenerys Targaryen:  Calm down Daenerys, they're fine.  In fact, they're growing up! SEE:

 Dani finally has her boat and is traveling with what's left of the Dothraki that were following her.  Apparently horse travel and sea travel are way different because those men are puking their brains out.  Daenerys is after The Unsullied, an army of slave soldiers who all look like Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  These guys are intense, one has his fucking nipple cut off like it was a haircut.  While Daenerys considersbuying these ruthless men, a little girl captures her attention... but FUCK THAT LITTLE GIRL IS A SORCERER!  The girl tries to kill Dani with some horrifying looking scorpion thing, but she is saved by a hooded figure.  Turns out to be Ser Barristan Selmy who we last saw renouncing Jeoffry.  Selmy pledges alleigence to the Targaryen name.  Oooooh things are getting interesting

Of course this is only the first episode, but already we are building up to sooo much!  I can't wait to see where all of this goes!

Orphan Black: Series Premier (spoilers)

Last night was the series premier of BBC America's new show Orphan Black.  Now, the premise of this show excited me almost immediately.  Everybody thinks about what it would be like to have a doppelganger, right?  I even remember a month on facebook where everybody changed their profile pictures to their celebrity dopples.  Honestly, it's amazing that a show like this hasn't come up before, especially with the advent of cloning.  The concept of Orphan Black feels new and fresh which is exciting since now-a-days everything on TV just seems like re-hashing of old concepts.

The show revolves around a con girl named Sarah who is on a train on her way back to New York.  While on the platform waiting for her connecting train, Sarah sees a woman going through some odd ritual, putting her bag down, taking of her shoes and when she turns around well... she looks exactly like Sarah.

The doppelganger then proceeds to jump in front of the train.  What does con girl Sarah do?  Steals her purse of course.

Sarah takes this all rather casually and goes to meet up with her fabulous friend Felix.

We get a lot of Sarah's back story here.  Her an Felix both grew up in the same foster home somewhere in the UK.  Both of them live on the other side of the law now, but as the closest either of them as to family they help each other out.  As it turns out, Sarah has a daughter named Kira who she up and left months back.  Sarah has been gone for 10 months with her bad bad boyfriend Vick and nobody had heard a word from her since she left, including Felix.  In order to change the subject, Sarah tells Felix about what she saw at the train station and decided to go to Elizabeth's apartment.

Now to skim through.  Sarah goes to Elizabeth's apartment and finds she has 75K in a bank account.  Sarah decides to pull off the ultimate con, watching videos of Beth, mastering her accent, dying her hair, giving herself a quick "Being Beth 101" course.

Well it looks like things are going to be easy as Sarah is able to convince the bank that she is Beth and she wants to withdraw from her account.  Sarah even goes as far to go into Beth's safety deposit box which is full of birth certificates, all with the same birthplace and date.  Sarah thinks herself pretty high and mighty...  Then it all goes to hell as Sarah finds out that Beth is a DETECTIVE.  Not only that, but she is a suspended detective who is in the middle of a hearing... for what?  Sarah has no idea.  So she drinks soap and barfs in order to get out of it.... but then, UH-OH, Beth's boyfriend shows up early... how does Sarah deal with this next bump... well she sleeps with him of course!  But finally, Sarah is able to get Beth's money and is rather proud of herself.  Little does she know that Beth's detective friend Art is following her... as is some other mysterious car.

As Sarah is busy taking over Beth's life, Felix is dealing with the other side of the con.  ID-ing Beth's body as Sarah.  In the process he even tells Sarah's baddie BF "Vick the Dick" that she's dead which devastates him. Sarah keeps telling Felix not to tell too many people she is dead, but frustrated with her antics Felix goes against his word and throws a makeshift wake.

Sarah is annoyed with Felix, but gets a bit of a rise watching her own funeral from a distance   That is, until Mrs. S, the woman who has been taking care of Sarah's daughter Kira.  Sarah freaks out, she doesn't want her daughter to think she's dead!  She begins to panic and on her way back to the car she finds herself face to face with another woman who looks exactly like her.  This version is German and... coughing up blood.  She quickly realizes that Sarah isn't Beth but not soon enough as A SNIPER SHOOTS HER IN THE HEAD.

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!  Sarah drives away as the sniper continues shooting.  Beth and the now dead clone's cell phone begins ringing off the hook.  The mystery begins.

Pros:  The acting is superb.  Tatiana Maslany is playing all the clones, and damn is that girl good with accents.  As Sarah pretending to be Beth, she does an amazing job at a bad American accent, slipping in some English sounding vowels here and there...  Jordan Gavaris (Felix) is also fantastic, his Canadian accent undetectable under a nearly flawless British accent.  I am also very impressed with the writing, the show is engaging and original and I can't wait to see where it goes.  One last fantastic aspect is the effects, when Sarah is with the clones, you don't get that weird "Split Screen" feeling, it really looks like they are all together.

Con:  Really I have just one.  At the beginning of the show, at the train station the conductor announces the next train to New York.  Now, I don't know if they meant NYC or just somewhere in New York State, but I live in New York City... this does NOT feel like NY in any way, nor does it feel like Brooklyn or Queens.  Now if this is meant to be upstate or Long Island, fine, but if not epic fail on the NYC vibe.

All and all I will absolutely be checking out the next episode to see where this crazy train is headed.

THE DOCTOR IS BACK: The Bells Of Saint John (spoilers sweetie)

Oh boys and girls he's back!  Our favorite nameless Doctor returned tonight in the first new episode since DECEMBER.  Well, Merry Christmas and Happy Easter because I am always down for the Doctor.  Really it's just in time to because I was beginning to get sick of reruns... no... seriously... I re-watched every episode from Christopher Eccleston on... most episodes twice.  Okay, maybe more than twice!  Don't judge me!  Anyway, in tonight's episode "The Bells Of Saint John" finally sees the 11th Doctor officially making Clara Oswin Oswald his next (and as rumor has it Smith's last) companion, even though she's already died twice on him.  Also as a side note, I am digging this whole BBC America "Supernatural Saturday" thing.  It's almost better than Snick!

Now, let's be honest... It's hard to see Matt Smith's Doctor with anybody other than the Ponds, which may have been the curse of having them be his companions for nearly 3 full seasons.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, David Tennant's Doctor went through companions like Hogwarts went through Defense against the Dark Art's teachers, and since Eccleson only did one season it kept Rose's plot line and chemistry with the Doctor fresh for two seasons, adding a bit of extra excitement when she briefly returned.  Jenna-Louise Coleman has a lot to live up to as it could be argued that the Ponds are two of the most beloved companions the doctor has ever had.  Not a dry eye was to be had after "The Angels Take Manhattan"... I'm pretty sure the internet broke overloaded with "SO MANY FEELS".  Having watched this episode, I have decided I am a Clara fan!

The show starts with a video blog, which warns the world no to connect to a certain unknown WIFI... because it will steal your soul!  As the camera pans out and we find a bunch of people stuck in TV screens very much like in "The Idiot's Lantern" but I'll let it slide.

Flash to Columbia 1207 where a monk proclaims that the Bells of St John are ringing.  They run to tell a cloaked figure who is of course the Doctor who is sitting next to a portrait of Clara "The Women Twice Dead."  Jump to Clara who apparently knows nothing about the internet.  Again, she is a Nanny who is amazing with kids.  While searching for an internet, the soul stealing WIFI pops up.  

Uh-oh.  But Clara is on the phone on a mission to figure out how to use the internet .. and that phone call connects to the TARDIS... AKA the Bells of St. John.  Who gave Clara that number...?  We are only told it was a woman.  River??????  MAYBE!

Finally Clara is given the WIFI password  RYCBAR123.  Run. You. Clever. Boy. And. Remember.  Stop the fucking presses.  Of course the Doctor runs to Clara and kind of freaks her out.  She is just Clara Oswald this time.  They have the great "doctor who?" conversation I posted above.  

We then find ourselves in some weird computer headquarters were the WIFI is coming from.  Apparently they are looking for clever people and Clara may be one of them... despite her total lack of knowledge of technology.  They are obviously a ruthless corporation and we get a very early Torchwood vibe.  They have not only hacked into the internet, they have hacked into minds and can apparently screw with peoples emotions.

The Doctor shows up and explains things to Clara, he's the man he talked to on the phone!  Clara is still freaked out but hears something upstairs.  She finds some weird random girl coming down the stairs.  She parrots whatever Clara says and is a creepy, scary, weird girl way.  Clara realizes she is the girls from the cover a of a book as  this girl TURNS HER FUCKING HEAD AROUND.  

She shows her weird android brain and Clara gets sucked in.

The doctor is busy re-donning his classic outfit, ditching monk garb.  When the doctor comes back he finds Clara panicking "I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM!"  Well... she is stuck in the back of the head of creepy android girl.  The Doctor sonics the "walking WIFI station" that is "hoovering up people."  Thankfully this time the Doctor saves her, sending a message to the WIFI company "under my protection".  The boss women of said company video chats her client saying "the doctor is back".  But who is the client?  Dalek?  Cyberman?  Who knows?

The Doctor saves Clara and they have an adorable conversation where the doctor tells Clara he is guarding her.  Things get crazy though as the lights start coming on all around them while all the lights in the city turn off.  WHAT'S GOING ON!?  And... oh shit is that a PLANE CRASHING!?  The doctor then explains that there is something in the WIFI trapping human souls.  People are being hacked... Even Clara was hacked and she is suddenly knowledgeable about the internet.  But there is no TIME!  THINGS JUST GOT REAL!     The Doctor shoves Clara in the TARDIS (which is totally different now).  They end up on the crashing plane and even though the Doctor apparently can't fly a plane but... he saves the crashing plane anyway.

The doctor takes Clara back to the TARDIS and takes her to the next day... and end up... on a motorcycle?  Which is for some reason in the TARDIS.  OK?  The show goes a bit "Person of Interest" as the weird WIFI company trails Clara using street cameras. 

Clara gets everything about the doctors in a quick lesson, yes alien  yes bigger on the inside and yes going to save the world.  

Now that Clara has had her internet smarts turned up, she is able to actually outsmart the Doctor and find the location of the company that is responsible for hacking minds.  The Doctor goes to get coffee and the company starts hacking into people in the cafe to threaten the Doctor.  They can hack anybody through the WIFI.  As the Doctor deals with hacked cafe people, Clara uses the web cams to take pictures of all of the company's employee's, which is how she can figure out where they are using SOCIAL MEDIA.  Love it.  Unfortunately, Clara is sucked away by the robot thing which is now disguised as the Doctor.  

Fortunately, Clara left the info on her laptop so of course the Doctor uses his motorcycle to... drive up the Shard.  Yeah.  The Doctor demands Clara back, but she is now fully integrated.  But.... it's not actually the Doctor... he HACKED THE DROID which then sucks in the leader of this crazy internet company.  OH DOCTOR I HAVE MISSED YOU!  Having no choice, the company has to give back all the "souls" for lack of a better word in order to save their boss... but when Clara wakes up... the Doctor is gone.

Flashing back to the company, they are in big trouble and we find out who the client is... it's the Snowman builder from the Christmas episode!  BUT WHY?!  Of course, nobody can remember what's happened so the company deletes the memories of every person working there and in a devastating twist, the company director's memory is overly-wiped and all that's left is a little girl in a woman's body.

The TARDIS comes back, and the Doctor asks Clara why she's a nanny.  She admits she was going to travel, but after some person tragedy she never went.  The Doctor asks her to go with him, but she asks him to come back tomorrow.  Of course, with a time machine that's no problem... and the Doctor is ready to find out who she is.

So it begins!  A new adventure with a new companion!  I can't wait to see what this season has in store!  WHO ARE CLARA!  I can't!  I can't wait!