Jonny Lee Miller, You Elegant Genius You

That's right!  You lay there and look smug!  You deserve it.  Every episode I become more and more in love with Miller's portrayal of Shelock Holmes.  Now, I'm not going to lie, I worried for Miller.  Benedict Cumberbatch is brilliant at playing Sherlock, but Miller's Sherlock is not only different than Cumberbatch's virginal more analytically minded Holmes, but just as brilliant.  If you are not watching this show, you really are missing out.

Tonight Sherlock gave an impassioned speech to Watson, admitting that not only had he known that she wasn't being paid to be his sober companion anymore, but that he tried to push her away.  It was beautiful.  Then when he turned around and asked her be his partner!  Oh!  So lovely!  When he said "I'm better with you," my heart literally melted.  I am dead now.

This plot is leading to an obvious romance between Sherlock and Watson, but when?  Who knows!  Are they going to go Bones style and wait 6 seasons to start the romance?  I kind of hope so, they can't jump the shark, the show is too good.  This works out really well for Liu's character as well.  Now that she has finally admitted she loves Sherlock's work she has really opened up.  It seems that the shell around her character has cracked and when she hit Sherlock with a basketball and said "It could have been a knife" I saw light at the end of the tunnel in Liu's close to the cuff performance.

But back to Miller. I haven't seen many of his movies, but I must get on it because I really am falling for his simple and elegant performance style.  I adored his last American show Eli Stone.  The only reason that show failed was due to the unfortunate writers strike which also took down the brilliant Pushing Daisies.  Eli Stone was another beautiful performance from Miller, who also delivers a near perfect American accent.  I implore you to give me recommendations for other Miller performances, I have seen Dracula 2000, Aeon Flux and Dark Shadows.

In conclusion:  NATIONAL THEATRE PLEASE LET AMERICANS SEE FRANKENSTEIN, GIVE US THE DVD!!!!  I MUST SEE MILLER AND CUMBERBATCH TOGETHER!  PLEASE!

Face Off: Two Heads Are Better Than One (spoilers)

Ladies and gentlemen, I think this may be the best cast this show has had yet!  And BRYAN SINGER as a guest judge!  Need I say more?  The director of my two favorite X-men movies and the producer of X-men first class and producer/director on House M.D. and all around awesome guy Singer came on the show to plug his new film Jack the Giant Slayer.  The contestants were paired off in teams of two to create a two headed giant that Jack would fight.

The teams and concepts are as follows:

Alam and Eric Z:  This was a weird makeup.  A blue giant with heads under his feet.  I didn't get it.
Anthony and Autumn:  They had a multi headed monster, with a head in the back whispering to the main head.
Jenna and Meagan:  Hot mess.  Weird tree giant.  Honostly I don't know what was up.
Eric F and Chris:  A literal two headed GIANT where the actor's head would represent the head of a poor villager.
House and Wayne:  Two headed one armed giant.  One head was operated by the actor's other arm.

All of the teams did amazing work, but it was apparent from minute one that Eric F's idea to make a real giant seemed un-doable.  But Chris supported the idea, despite that every week Eric F takes on too much and nearly doesn't finish.  But this make up ROCKED!  It reminded me of a British pantomime puppet!  I could not get enough, and while the other makes ups (with the exception of Jenna and Meagan and Alam and Eric Z) were fantastic, nothing held up to the well thought out giant.  It was no surprise when Chris and Eric F. won.  Eric's idea to literally make a giant was fab-u-lous, this is the kind of thinking movie makers need today!  CGI my ass, that make-up/puppet was unbelievable, and having Jack stabbing at the giants hand was a touch of humor that no other contestant thought to add.

Jenna's needed to go since day 2.  I know she has a tumor that is causing her hand to go numb, but she should have left the show so other people could have stayed on.  It really wasn't fair, in two challenges she dragged her team mates down and then did nothing but complain.  Its sad because she is obviously talented enough to get on the show, but I was getting sick of hearing about her issues.

All and all I am so impressed with these artists.  I think Autumn needs to go next though because she is annoying and I don't want to hear about how awesome she thinks she is.

Being Human: Sticks and Rope (Spoilers)

ALEX!  Look at you!  Carving out a niche for yourself on this show!  And good God, this episodes actually scared me.  At one point I even let out a scream, which was weird because I was watching it on my computer with my headphones on and my dad looked at me like I was insane.  But little boy ghosts are super creepy.  This season is going to be epic.... especially with who will be in the next episode, but we'll get there... despite the fact that I am bursting with fountains of joy.

This episode had three main components, Hal and Tom in competition for employee of the month, Alex gets stuck with the ghost of a Victorian boy and Rook using Crumb to try to save his organization.

Hal and Tom are in competition.  Again.  Haven't we seen this before?  Yeah, we have but the whole thing ended with a food fight and you can't hate that.  Basically, Tom wants to feel like he matters, so when an employee of the month competition comes around, he sees it as his opportunity to prove himself.  Of course, their boss is pining after Hal, so even when Hal purposely tries to suck at his job, Tom somehow gets screwed.  It doesn't help that both of them have the devil whispering in their ear.

We learned in the season premiere that the devil feeds on the hatred between werewolves and vampires, so he pits Hal and Tom against each other.  At first it works, but Alex is able to make both men see reason.  Not before the two boys have a monster food fight in the middle of the hotel dinning room.  Their boss fires Tom blaming him for the whole thing, and Hal did the whole "if he goes, I go" thing and they are both sacked.  But the devil can't have that!  So he gets that snobby boss to hire them back.  Then he makes he face bleed, which was totally fucked, and she cleans herself up by killing herself.  But the devil needs one last thing to happen before He Will Rise.  Ghost girl's gotta go.  She keeps the peace between the werewolf and vampire, and he can't have that.  BTW, Phil Davis is absolutely fantastic and needs an award.

While this is going on, the scariest thing to ever happen in Being Human history is occurring   The ghost of a little boy starts haunting Alex.  It is the creepiest thing ever when she hears her name in the child's voice as water drips into the sink.  Each drop whispers the name "Alex."  When she turns the sink on, the most horrifying screams come with it.  Terrified she runs to get Hal and Tom.  Together, the three of them find the boy, named Oliver, who turns out isn't really scary so much as a pain in the ass.  And kind of racist.  At first he is demanding, driving Alex insane.  But Tom, being awesome entertains the boy at least for a while.

Alex hits the wall and sends Oliver to his room.  Hal suggests that she go talk to him.  Before she opens the door she hears little Oliver talking to a creepy voice coming through an old radio.  Alex asks who he is talking to, but Oliver won't answer.  Alex softens, and the next day she and Oliver have a great time.  Alex is reminded of her brothers, and really takes the young ghost under her wing.  Oliver starts to feel guilty and admits his past to her.  He tells her he is afraid of the men with sticks and rope, who went after Annie once.  Oliver felt responsible for the drowning death of his little brother, and he committed suicide.  He goes to tell Alex what he's been up to when the lights go out and neither ghost can exit.  Then things get horrifying.  

Oliver's dripping wet scary ass ghost brother shows up.  At first they run from him. but Alex realizes this is his unfinished business.  Oliver goes to his brother, and it seems all is well and the HOLY FUCKING SHIT ITS THE DEMON GUYS WITH STICKS AND ROPES!  I screamed, that happened.  We see the devil is using these guys as a mouthpiece, saying he must take one of the ghosts to hell, and Alex volunteers   Oliver tries to argue, but the men with sticks and ropes grab her.  In the nick of time Oliver's dripping wet scary ass ghost brother reappears and Oliver's door opens.  Alex tells him to walk through and close the door on his way.  The closed door ends the devil's connection with the demons, but they don't vanish until they leave a message.  He. Will. RRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Poor Crumb.  This episode we find him locked up by Rook and starving.  Rook promises him blood, once he helps Rook out.  Crumb has lost it.  He has gone totally off the rails.  He agrees to help Rook, but he doesn't realize that he is agreeing to be trapped in a room with his sister and niece with extreme blood lust.  Rook's partner begs him to spare the child, but Rook feels sacrifices must be made.  A starving Crumb kills his sister and niece both.  Poor Crumb is just a nerdy guy who has gotten mixed up in a mess he has no idea how to fix.  Rook shows the video of Crumb killing his family to try and save his department but it's no use.

After killing his family Crumb finds Hal and begs for help.  He feels the monster rising inside of him and begs Hal to save him, but Hal refuses shoving him out the door.  We next see Crumb standing next to some body of water when Rook's partner comes, asking to be turned.  He is a nerdy guy just like Crumb, and they believe they can help each other.  Are these two bullied nerd vamps going to cause a commotion?  Is it all a trick to save this supernatural department?  We'll see!

But after this whole great episode what am I most excited about.

 JULIAN FUCKING BARRATT!  The Boosh Boy hasn't been around an awful lot lately, and with Noel doing Luxury Comedy I think we've all longed to see his face again.  AND THERE IT IS!  There it fucking is!  Look at him!  Can't you hear him saying "Hey how's it going, I'm comin' atcha like a bee, like a buzzard."  I watched the show on a terrible internet connection so I didn't even realize it was him, thanks Tumblr. for clearing that up for me.  I AM SO EXCITED!  I have always been a Howard girl, I can get down with elbow patches and slap base.  LETS DO THIS! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

It snowed, I'm Bored, Let's Get Down With Cartoons

So, it snowed 3 feet in my town last night and I have literally nothing to do.  So of course, I've spent the day on the internet, mainly imgur, just trying to pass the time.  Somehow I started an argument as to whether Cartoon Network's Adventure Time is a kids show or not (http://imgur.com/gallery/6jWXpbX my username is burtongirl).  I understand the argument, there is definitely adult humor on Adventure Time but it is not an adult cartoon in the way that Family Guy or Metalocalypse which are both literally written for adults.  So, I of course made the argument that the cartoons that 90s kids grew up with were way more adult and disturbing than anything on kids TV now.  Then I thought... I'm going to blog about cartoons.

It's always been a dream of mine to write a book about the cartoons of the 90s because I see them as a second golden age in cartoon history.  Of course, Looney Tunes broke the mold, defining what cartoons should be, followed by Hana Barbera in the 50s... but then things got a bit boring.  And while the 80s hold a their own notable place, the animation began to get stale and cookie cutter-ish.  All of the shows started to look and sound them same, not to mention that almost all of them involved the same comic book super-hero style plots.  But then the 90s came, the face and look of animation changed and things go really, really weird.

Now, believe it or not, Nickelodeon launched their network in 1977 which promptly failed.  They relaunched in in 1979, but it wasn't until they opened their studios in 1990 and launched Nicktoons that we got the cartoon gold of the 90s.  The first Nicktoons animated were Doug, Rugrats and Ren and Stimpy.  Eventually they were followed with Nicktoons like Ahhh! Real Monsters, Rocko's Modern Life, Angry Beavers, Hey Arnold, CatDog and on and on.  Now most of these cartoons were super G rated, especially  Doug, The Wild Thornberry's and Hey Arnold.  Okay, Hey Arnold had a little weirdness with Helga's Arnold head shrine.  But most of these nicktoons were totally fucked.  They would never make it on the air today without parents having riots.

Cartoon Network was developed as an answer to Nickelodean's success, at first playing reruns of Hanna Barbera cartoons.  They had a few of their own series, but Nickelodeon was killing them in ratings.  That is, until What A Cartoon came around.  What A Cartoon.  This show gave independent animators a platform to showcase their work, and those lucky enough were given full contracts.  Believe it or not, the first breath Family Guy ever took was on What A Cartoon as a short called Larry and Steve.  What A Cartoon gave us gems like Cow and Chicken, I Am Weasel, The Powerpuff Girls, Courage the Cowardly Dog, and my least favorite Johnny Bravo.  Cartoon Network really found its niche in 2001 when they created Adult Swim, but we'll stick to the 90s.

Possibly the most underrated network of the 90s, producing some of the best cartoon shows was The WB.  Animaniacs was arguably one of the greatest 90s cartoons, taking a page from Looney Tunes with a large cast of characters and a series of vignettes, birthing spin-offs like Pinky and the Brain and Freakazoid.  The WB also had The Tiny Toon Adventures.

Now I can ramble on about Saturday morning cartoons and after school cartoons, Bonkers, Gargoyoles , Beetlejuice and Talespin, but they were all very G rated shows that would easily make it on the air today.  By today's standards Adventure Time and Regular Show have parents knickers in a twist.  I can't imagine how they would react to Rocko's Modern Life, that show was hilarious but totally disgusting.  Rocko's next door neighbors The Fatheads were constantly insinuating an active sex life, Heffer went to Heck and their favorite superhero Really Really Big Man had nipples of the future.  His nipples attached to your eyes and showed you the future.  HIS NIPPLES!  And Ren and Stimpy?  Forget about it!  The episode where Ren becomes a hermit and makes friends with an earwax sculpture of stimpy and the corpse of a hanged man scarred me for life.  Or what about Cow and Chicken... their parents were just legs!  And that devil character's ass was always out... and shiney

Of course, even at the time parents got upset about these shows.  I remember being the only girl in my girl in my girl scout troop (not my choice) that was allowed to watch Animaniacs.  Their parents thought the show was too violent.  But hey, that show was at least educational!  Yakko sings a song with every country!  I didn't learn it, but he did it.  And the Warner Brothers (and sister) helped Einstien come up with E=MC2.  Ok it's not factual, but I learned Albert Einstien came up with it.  Okay it was a silly show, but it wasn't that bad.

Look, I'm not trying to knock today's cartoons, they are great and I watch them, but they are just a lot more watered down then the cartoons we had a kids.  I can't say whether we were helped or hurt by the semi-disturbing cartoons we grew up with, but I do know we love them passionately.  So here is to 90s cartoons, the networks that housed them and their weird, slightly disturbing nature.

BREAKING AMERICAN HORROR STORY NEWS!

It's official!  Taissa Farmiga and Frances Conroy are officially signed on for season 3 of American Horror Story!  Ryan Murphy has also revealed that the upcoming season will take place in present day, adding "It will also be more historical in nature."

Taissa made her acting debut in season 1 of American Horror story as the whiny teen turned suicide princess Violet Harmen.  She had a fabulous romance with the adorable yet murderous ghost Tate, and no matter what Tate did, the audience rooted for this teen romance.  At first I wasn't a Violet fan, but as the season progressed I became more and more involved with her relationship with Tate and absolutly fell in love with her and he bad ass-ness.  I just made that a word so deal with it.

Frances Conroy is a seasoned actress who gave brilliant performances in both seasons 1 and 2 of AHS.  In season 1 she portrayed one of my favorite characters the sometimes sexy, sometimes bitter old maid Moira, having it out with Jessica Lange at every corner.  This year she was fabulous again, even if her Angel of Death character was confusing.  I especially loved it when she was the badass inmate with a beehive who invaded on Lange's territory.

So now just sign on Jessica Lange, Evan Peters and Lily Rabe and we are cooking with fire!  I would love to see Violet and Tate back together again!  They had such good chemistry!  FINGERS CROSSED.

Bloggin' Bout Books: Author Addition

That, my friends, is the face of one of my absolute favorite authors, Christopher Moore.  His books are quirky, weird, supernatural and hilarious, so it's pretty obvious how I was drawn to him.  I have read his books and laughed out loud on the NYC subways system, ignoring my fellow passengers who slide away from me in fear that I'm either bat-shit crazy or patient zero in some sort of happiness disease.  New Yorkers aren't huge on happiness.

Now before I give you my top five favorite Moore books, it should be noted that there is an order that I would suggest reading them.  With the exception of Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Fool and Sacre Bleu, I would read his books in the order they were written.  Each of his books involve places and characters that overlap.  I read the books out of order, so I would be reading about characters that seemed established which would leave me a bit confused only to later read a different book slapping my head and going "OH!" also causing subway riders to once again slide away from me.

So here are my top 5 favorite Christopher Moore books:

5.  Fool-  Fool is the first Christopher Moore book I ever read.  The whole story is told from the point of view of King Lear's Fool, turning Shakespeare's tragedy into a knee slapping comedy.  As a theatre major, I was really into this concept, especially since I had auditioned to play the Fool in college and didn't get the part.  Still, next to Hamlet, King Lear is one of my favorite Shakespearean tragedies.  

Fool is the story of what's happening to the Fool (who Moore has named Pocket) on and off the stage.  It would be helpful to actually read Shakespeare's King Lear, but it's not necessary for those who make statements like "I wish Shakespeare was dead".  Trust me, I actually know people who have said this.  In Fool, Pocket is literally responsible for every single thing that happens in King Lear.  He spends the entire book planting seeds in the minds of characters often leading to their demise   Pocket loves to pull strings, play jokes, sleep with women and yell "Fucksocks!" whenever the catchphrase is warranted.  So if you like Shakespeare, or if you just like to laugh, I highly recommend this novel.

4.  The Bloodsucking Fiends Trilogy-  Ok fine this isn't a book it's a trilogy, so sue me.  Once I had read Fool I couldn't get enough of Moore, so I googled him.  Not the 30 Rock Tracy Jordon way, just put his name into the google search.  What did I find... this guy wrote a vampire trilogy.  No, I don't think you heard me, this Moore guy not only wrote about Shakespeare, he wrote about vampires.  I think that if you've read any of my other blog posts its pretty clear I have a thing for vampires.  A big thing.  Now, these books can be read in succession, but I would suggest at least reading Practical Demonkeeping and Coyote Blue first, though a character from Fluke does show up in Bite Me.

These books are basically about Jody, who after being attacked walking home from work wakes up to find herself a vampire.  Well that was rude, she never asked for this!  The transition isn't easy, but Jodi enlists the help of want to be writer/grocery store night clerk Thomas "Tommy" Flood.  Jodi turns Tommy's world upside down as she learns to cope with her new condition.  Each book gets progressively more hilarious, but they are also touching love stories and tales of great friendship.

3.  Fluke or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings- Fluke is not as hilarious as some of Moore's other books, but you're taken on such a journey, who cares?  I adored this book, it took me on an adventure and made me really think about the world around me, and as an Imgurian, it also made me think about the power of memes.  I made a biologist friend of mine read this book and he called me late one night to tell me he couldn't put it down and had finished it in no time.  He saw things in this novel that I totally missed and we spent a lot of time talking about the complexities of a book that seems so simple.

The novel revolves around Nathan Quinn, a marine biologist on Maui who is researching why humpback whales sing.  While out on a routine expedition to research the humpback whales in the area, he takes a picture of a whale's fluke to find the words "Bite Me" written across his fins.  This discovery leads him on an underwater journey involving goo, whale people and Amelia Earheart.  Come on, tell me that doesn't sound awesome.

2.  A Dirty Job-  So I had kind of a hard time deciding in which order to put my top two books because I love them both so much.  I really couldn't choose so I decided to put A Dirty Job second only because I think the next book will really blow people away.  This book has a darkness to it the Moore's other books don't and I love it.  Still it's just as funny as any of his other novels, but so much darker and more twisted.

The book opens with "beta-male" Charlie Asher in the hospital shortly after his wife has given birth to their first child, Sophie.  Charlie is over the moon, at least until his wife unexpectedly dies from complications, and Charlie is able to see her Angel of Death.  It's then that Charlie is chosen to be a Death Merchant, retrieving  souls from the dead and protecting them from the evils of the underworld until they can find a new home.  All this while trying to raise his daughter and run his second hand shop.  Unfortunately, due to one of Charlie's slip ups, darkness is rising up and threatening to take over our world.  Oh there is so much more I wish I could tell you about this book but I don't want to give anything away!  READ THIS BOOK!  Trust me you won't be disappointed.

1.  Lamb:  The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal- I may go as far as to say this is one of the best books I have ever read.  I was raised Catholic and was deeply involved in my church until I was about twenty, but I would still call myself a practicing Catholic.  But since I take nothing seriously, I have no problem laughing at the bible a bit.  This book fills in the bible's missing parts, Jesus' childhood and where he was between 13 and 30.  I mean, within the first few chapters Moore had me when he described Jesus' brother killing a lizard which Jesus would bring back to life by putting it in he mouth, only to have his brother kill it again.  This book isn't only laugh at loud funny (be prepared for crooked looks on the train) but also a great commentary on religion and how different religious views influence each other.

The book starts with Biff finding himself resurrected in present day by a moronic angel who has calls on him to write the Bible's missing bits.  Biff sits down and pens his adventures with his best friend Joshua (Biff calls Jesus Joshua as that was his original Hebrew name).  Not only does he share what life was like growing up with the Christ Child, he tells of their travels to the East to meet the three wise men.  On the journey to meet each wise man, Joshua learns life lessons which he incorporates into his later teachings, while Biff makes and endless fool of himself, sleeping with whatever woman will have him and generally failing to find the point of the things going on around him.  Honestly, this book is beautiful, blending in eastern cultural ideas with the teachings of Jesus.  Despite Biff's debauchery and humor, you can't help but feel a bit enlightened when you put this book down.  If you read no other Christopher Moore book, please, please pick this one up, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Well, I hope this post introduces Christopher Moore to a new audience, he deserves it.  I have yet to read on of his books that I didn't enjoy, fun, funny and sometimes you really learn something.

March Comes In Like A Lion... And Out Like A Freaking Lion

March is generally not the time of year that we expect new programming due to Basketball's March Madness, but not this year!  March has some of the most exciting season premieres and two new shows that look very promising.  March comes in strong with the series premiere of Bates Motel and ends even stronger with part 2 of Doctor Who's season 7, the series premiere of Orphan Black and season 3 of Game of Thrones.  March may be my new favorite month of the year!

First up, the series premiere of Bates Motel.  Now, A&E isn't known for it's stellar original programming, they mostly carry depressing reality shows like The First 48 or Intervention, but if History Channel can start producing Emmy Winning original series, why can't A&E?  The original trailers of this show were very American Horror Story-esque, with nothing more than an ominous shot of something gory, ie a burning body as seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpgdiNUttlw.  Even the music is similar to American Horror Story, so you know what I'm in.  Not to mention that Psycho is one of my all time favorite movies.  

Now, I am a little leery because they are putting Norman Bates in 2013, so it obviously can't be directly associated with the 1960 film, but it really doesn't matter, the psychology of a serial killer won't change whether or not he has a cell phone.  After seeing the cast I really have no doubts.  The incredibly talented Freddie Highmore is playing Norman Bates and I think this dark role is a great career move for him.  Then we have Vera Farmiga who has given powerhouse performances for years (not to mention she is the sister of American Horror Story's Taissa Farmiga).  Vera will bring to life the mother who sent a man over the edge, giving life and history to a corpse in a rocking chair.  I really am looking forward to the series it has great potential.

WHO ARE YOU OSWIN OSWALD!?  Finally we'll be getting some answers starting March 30th.  Doctor Who will be back with his new companion Owsin Oswald... who has already died twice.  But you know what, Buffy died twice and she kicks ass, so I think Oswin will too!  We will also be seeing the Doctor's 50 year anniversary episode at some point during the season, so I know all you Whovians have high hopes to see some Doctors past on the show... I am praying we see David Tennant, even if he is in his human form from the other universe!  

But possibly what I'm most excited about is the confirmation that Neil Gaiman has penned a Cybermen episode and it's rumored that Warwick Davis will be starring in it.  Gaiman has already wrote one of the most popular Doctor Who episodes "The Doctor's Wife" where we meet the TARDIS who has been crammed into a living body.  If you haven't read a Neil Gaiman book, GO DO IT!  I especially recommend The Graveyard Book and American Gods (which HBO has recently bought the rights to!)

So, I'm still not totally sold on BBC's new show which premiere's the same night as Doctor Who. The more I research it, the more confusing I find it.  For one, the trailer for it doesn't really explain anything and in it's attempt to be cryptic it kind of loses me.  The IMDB description is a bit more interesting, A girl named Sarah steals the identity of a dead woman who looks just like her, only to find that she is one of many genetically identical individuals who are being assassinated one by one.  Sarah has to discover why somebody would duplicate her genes and who is after her clones.  Now that sounds a bit more interesting.  Since it airs the same night as Doctor Who, why not?

No.  Actually we do.  But the next fucking day after Doctor Who and Orphan Black, Game of Thrones FINALLY comes back.  According to the producers this is the year they have been waiting for.  I heard about something they called "blood wedding" and refused to listen to any more because I won't ruin any of this for myself.  I think this year might be a blood bath and nobody will be safe.  I don't even want to try to speculate on anything that will happen this season but I am so so excited!  I just hope none of my favorite characters kick the bucket (even though they probably will).

So, in conclusion, March 2013 is going to be epic... at least for nerds like me.