Sunday, March 31, 2013

GAME OF THRONES IS BACK! (Spoilers)


Oh what a glorious weekend!  Not only is it Easter, we have gotten new Doctor Who, the premier of Orphan Black and season 3 of Game of Thrones had finally started.  Oh HBO, why must you make us wait so long between seasons?!  Well I guess absence only makes the heart grow fonder.  It's so amazing to see all of the characters we've fallen in love with back on screen (well a few of them weren't in tonight's premier but soon)... of course when it comes to GoT we have to spend every single episode fearing for their lives.  Nobody is safe in George R.R. Martin's fantastic little world.

So, to give a blow by blow of what happened in this episode is just impossible.  GoT is quite possibly the most complicated show on TV, following more characters than I can count at the moment as my brain is still on fire from watching the new episode.  Not to mention everybody has a completely different plot line... yes most of them are out to get the iron throne, but so many are sneaker than that.  So I'll give the most important plot points in the characters most followed in this episode.

Samwell Tarly:  Oh gosh the White Walkers are active again.  The show opens with their horrifying cries followed by the screams of a dying man... Sam is thankfully saved by one of the White Walker zombie minions by Jon Snow's dog and whats left of the Night's Watch.

Jon Snow:  Jon is taken to Wildlings camp where he sees things he has never seen before.  He is taken to the leader where he pledges allegiance.  Of course, it's hard to believe Jon would actually betray the Night's Watch, but when he tells the Wildlings of the White Walker's and the Night's Watch feigned ignorance of them, the Wildlings accept him into the pack.

Davos Seaworth:  IS ALIVE?!  That's right, despite his ship (and his son) being blown apart by dragon fire last season Seaworth made it through!  Not only that, but he is immediatly able to flag down a ship to rescue him... and who's ship is it?  Why none other than his pirate friend Salladhor Saan!  Well that all worked out rather well for him.  Saan tells Seaworth that Stanis has... lost his mind.  He spends all his time with the Red Woman and does nothing but burn prisoners.  After much begging, Saan takes Seaworth to Stannis... but Stannis won't leave the Red Lady and when Seaworth goes after her with a knife Seaworth is imprisoned.

Robb Stark:  Robb goes to Harrinhal to pick a fight with Tywin Lannister but comes up short as... well everybody is dead.  No, really... Everybody.  Is.  Dead.  Still pissed at his Mom for setting Jaime free, he has her imprisoned there.

Tyrion Lannister:  My how the mighty have fallen.  Tyrion is first accosted by his sister, they have a battle of words but tensions are high.  Tyrion's going to meet with Daddy dearest (or not) and it has Cersei on edge.  But the meeting with Dad doesn't go so well.  See Tyrion just wants Casterly Rock, it's his birthright and he just kicked ass in battle.  Well, Daddy doesn't want his freaky mom-killing son to have Casterly Rock, telling Tyrion that he will be given a job, a salary and a better home but he will never have the family castle.  Never.  Poor Tyrion.

Margaery Tyrell:  Now on her way to being queen, Tyrell's whorey-ness has been toned down.  Actually she's quite lovely, stopping at an orphanage, speaking to the children and giving them toys.  In fact, her kindness seems to melt Joffery's douchey little heart.  It may have grown three sizes that day.  But Tyrell isn't impressing Cersei, oh now a battle of tongues begins.  Cersei is one crazy bitch, Tyrell better watch her half naked back.

Sansa Stark:  Nothing too exciting, but Littlefinger is planning on taking her away.  Of course Shea vows to protect her but when Littlefinger is involved... well this plot will prove to be interesting.

Daenerys Targaryen:  Calm down Daenerys, they're fine.  In fact, they're growing up! SEE:
 Dani finally has her boat and is traveling with what's left of the Dothraki that were following her.  Apparently horse travel and sea travel are way different because those men are puking their brains out.  Daenerys is after The Unsullied, an army of slave soldiers who all look like Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  These guys are intense, one has his fucking nipple cut off like it was a haircut.  While Daenerys considersbuying these ruthless men, a little girl captures her attention... but FUCK THAT LITTLE GIRL IS A SORCERER!  The girl tries to kill Dani with some horrifying looking scorpion thing, but she is saved by a hooded figure.  Turns out to be Ser Barristan Selmy who we last saw renouncing Jeoffry.  Selmy pledges alleigence to the Targaryen name.  Oooooh things are getting interesting

Of course this is only the first episode, but already we are building up to sooo much!  I can't wait to see where all of this goes!