Saturday, March 30, 2013

THE DOCTOR IS BACK: The Bells Of Saint John (spoilers sweetie)


Oh boys and girls he's back!  Our favorite nameless Doctor returned tonight in the first new episode since DECEMBER.  Well, Merry Christmas and Happy Easter because I am always down for the Doctor.  Really it's just in time to because I was beginning to get sick of reruns... no... seriously... I re-watched every episode from Christopher Eccleston on... most episodes twice.  Okay, maybe more than twice!  Don't judge me!  Anyway, in tonight's episode "The Bells Of Saint John" finally sees the 11th Doctor officially making Clara Oswin Oswald his next (and as rumor has it Smith's last) companion, even though she's already died twice on him.  Also as a side note, I am digging this whole BBC America "Supernatural Saturday" thing.  It's almost better than Snick!



Now, let's be honest... It's hard to see Matt Smith's Doctor with anybody other than the Ponds, which may have been the curse of having them be his companions for nearly 3 full seasons.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, David Tennant's Doctor went through companions like Hogwarts went through Defense against the Dark Art's teachers, and since Eccleson only did one season it kept Rose's plot line and chemistry with the Doctor fresh for two seasons, adding a bit of extra excitement when she briefly returned.  Jenna-Louise Coleman has a lot to live up to as it could be argued that the Ponds are two of the most beloved companions the doctor has ever had.  Not a dry eye was to be had after "The Angels Take Manhattan"... I'm pretty sure the internet broke overloaded with "SO MANY FEELS".  Having watched this episode, I have decided I am a Clara fan!

The show starts with a video blog, which warns the world no to connect to a certain unknown WIFI... because it will steal your soul!  As the camera pans out and we find a bunch of people stuck in TV screens very much like in "The Idiot's Lantern" but I'll let it slide.


Flash to Columbia 1207 where a monk proclaims that the Bells of St John are ringing.  They run to tell a cloaked figure who is of course the Doctor who is sitting next to a portrait of Clara "The Women Twice Dead."  Jump to Clara who apparently knows nothing about the internet.  Again, she is a Nanny who is amazing with kids.  While searching for an internet, the soul stealing WIFI pops up.  


Uh-oh.  But Clara is on the phone on a mission to figure out how to use the internet .. and that phone call connects to the TARDIS... AKA the Bells of St. John.  Who gave Clara that number...?  We are only told it was a woman.  River??????  MAYBE!

Finally Clara is given the WIFI password  RYCBAR123.  Run. You. Clever. Boy. And. Remember.  Stop the fucking presses.  Of course the Doctor runs to Clara and kind of freaks her out.  She is just Clara Oswald this time.  They have the great "doctor who?" conversation I posted above.  

We then find ourselves in some weird computer headquarters were the WIFI is coming from.  Apparently they are looking for clever people and Clara may be one of them... despite her total lack of knowledge of technology.  They are obviously a ruthless corporation and we get a very early Torchwood vibe.  They have not only hacked into the internet, they have hacked into minds and can apparently screw with peoples emotions.

The Doctor shows up and explains things to Clara, he's the man he talked to on the phone!  Clara is still freaked out but hears something upstairs.  She finds some weird random girl coming down the stairs.  She parrots whatever Clara says and is a creepy, scary, weird girl way.  Clara realizes she is the girls from the cover a of a book as  this girl TURNS HER FUCKING HEAD AROUND.  

She shows her weird android brain and Clara gets sucked in.

The doctor is busy re-donning his classic outfit, ditching monk garb.  When the doctor comes back he finds Clara panicking "I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM!"  Well... she is stuck in the back of the head of creepy android girl.  The Doctor sonics the "walking WIFI station" that is "hoovering up people."  Thankfully this time the Doctor saves her, sending a message to the WIFI company "under my protection".  The boss women of said company video chats her client saying "the doctor is back".  But who is the client?  Dalek?  Cyberman?  Who knows?

The Doctor saves Clara and they have an adorable conversation where the doctor tells Clara he is guarding her.  Things get crazy though as the lights start coming on all around them while all the lights in the city turn off.  WHAT'S GOING ON!?  And... oh shit is that a PLANE CRASHING!?  The doctor then explains that there is something in the WIFI trapping human souls.  People are being hacked... Even Clara was hacked and she is suddenly knowledgeable about the internet.  But there is no TIME!  THINGS JUST GOT REAL!     The Doctor shoves Clara in the TARDIS (which is totally different now).  They end up on the crashing plane and even though the Doctor apparently can't fly a plane but... he saves the crashing plane anyway.

The doctor takes Clara back to the TARDIS and takes her to the next day... and end up... on a motorcycle?  Which is for some reason in the TARDIS.  OK?  The show goes a bit "Person of Interest" as the weird WIFI company trails Clara using street cameras. 

Clara gets everything about the doctors in a quick lesson, yes alien  yes bigger on the inside and yes going to save the world.  
Now that Clara has had her internet smarts turned up, she is able to actually outsmart the Doctor and find the location of the company that is responsible for hacking minds.  The Doctor goes to get coffee and the company starts hacking into people in the cafe to threaten the Doctor.  They can hack anybody through the WIFI.  As the Doctor deals with hacked cafe people, Clara uses the web cams to take pictures of all of the company's employee's, which is how she can figure out where they are using SOCIAL MEDIA.  Love it.  Unfortunately, Clara is sucked away by the robot thing which is now disguised as the Doctor.  

Fortunately, Clara left the info on her laptop so of course the Doctor uses his motorcycle to... drive up the Shard.  Yeah.  The Doctor demands Clara back, but she is now fully integrated.  But.... it's not actually the Doctor... he HACKED THE DROID which then sucks in the leader of this crazy internet company.  OH DOCTOR I HAVE MISSED YOU!  Having no choice, the company has to give back all the "souls" for lack of a better word in order to save their boss... but when Clara wakes up... the Doctor is gone.

Flashing back to the company, they are in big trouble and we find out who the client is... it's the Snowman builder from the Christmas episode!  BUT WHY?!  Of course, nobody can remember what's happened so the company deletes the memories of every person working there and in a devastating twist, the company director's memory is overly-wiped and all that's left is a little girl in a woman's body.

The TARDIS comes back, and the Doctor asks Clara why she's a nanny.  She admits she was going to travel, but after some person tragedy she never went.  The Doctor asks her to go with him, but she asks him to come back tomorrow.  Of course, with a time machine that's no problem... and the Doctor is ready to find out who she is.

So it begins!  A new adventure with a new companion!  I can't wait to see what this season has in store!  WHO ARE CLARA!  I can't!  I can't wait!