Sunday, August 4, 2013

Dead Meat: True Blood Pros and Cons (spoilers)

So tonight's episode "Dead Meat" was obviously a build up episode to what should prove to be an awesome finale.  With only two more episodes left, they needed an episode like tonight's in order to get us antsy for whats to come.  Also, it kind of feels like True Blood has had terrible amnesia and this season the writers were all miraculously cured and they remembered plot lines/relationships and characters that have been long gone.  Though I was displeased when I got the "Nudity" and "Sexual Situations" warning at the beginning of the episode just to see a teenage pair of tata's an no actual sex.  Total cock-tease True Blood.  Not cool.


  • Oh Eric, you said your sister's blood is still warm on your chest but how can that really be possible.  She has a brief fever before she died.  Now she's twice dead, ain't no way that blood is warm.  Oh, yeah, rest in peace Nora, now let's move on.
  • Great, Alcide and his pack still exist.  And they are still awful.  Seriously, the hatred that builds in me every time they are on screen could give me the powers of the dark side.
  • I'm throwing feminism out the window for a sec.  JESSICA YOU ARE A MEGASLUT!  You do not deserve the love that every single man gives to you.  What the fuck Jessica, what the fuck.
  • Alcide and Sam: WORST BROMANCE OF ALL TIME. 
  • Sam, why are you apologizing to Nicole.  Her stupidity and blind righteousness got her into this mess.
  • Remember when Alcide was on How I Met Your Mother and he has awesome chemistry with Marshall and they had a beautiful bromance and had brunch together?  Alcide should go back to that.
  • Andy's fairy daughter is a MORON!  
  • How do you LOVE Nicole Sam, how do you LOVE her.  She got you into a lot of trouble and you banged.  That's not love Silver Fox.
  • Why is Sookie RANDOMLY coming to Sam with all this info?!  WAY TO LEAD SAM ON!  Maybe Jessica learned all this from you.  Shame on you Sookie, SHAME!
  • The funeral parlor scene could have been good and touching but that dragged on way too long.  Like the Afirit thing.
  • Sarah Newlin's "Thank you Jesus."  Post-murder.  That is bad, even for True Blood.  I couldn't help shake my head and say "No.  No..."

Buckle up ladies and gents, this is a long one.
  • Alexander Skarsgard has really stepped up his performance this year.  Is True Blood sniffing around for next year's Emmy's?
  • I absolutely adore Bill/Eric scenes.  They are such bitch fests, it's like being a college theatre major all over again.  But this scene has me basically going Oh DAYUMMMMM because for a hot second I really thought Bill was going to kill/maim Eric.
  • "You out of your fuckin' mind bitch?!"  Said the only werewolf with common sense.  Ever.  Somebody make that guy pack master.
  • Look, Tara hasn't been on screen much this season, but she has really stolen every one she is in.
  • "I am talking badass medieval times Catholiscim.. I'm the real fuckin' deal."  This new vampire is a psycho-bitch, but she was awesome on House M.D. so I will give her a chance.
  • OH SNAP!  Warlow is like "Overly Attached Girlfriend" only worse.  Those two deserve each other.
You've loved her for centuries? 
 Guess what.  I don't believe in fairies.  Don't clap for that bitch, just let her die.
  • I love that when Eric walks by the fairy world portal it goes dark.  Cool effect.
  • Double walk of shame with Jessica and Pam.  At least we know sex with the therapist was "Oozy but productive."
  • Aw, Sam remembers he had other friends!  Watching him clean out Terry's locker was touching and made me not hate him.
  • Tara mouthing "I know" to Pam about True Blood melted my heart.
  • These are my notes here:  STEVE NEWLIN DOESN'T KNOW!  DON'T DRINK IT STEVE I LOVE YOU!  Needless to say, I was happy that James saved Steve.
  • I knew Nicole was going to get pregnant I KNEW it.  The second Sam sniffed her my suspicions were confirmed.
  • They need to give Pam her own show.
  • Violet is obviously one crazy biotch, but every woman needs to be on top of her shit like she is.  Seriously, her views on sex and relationships with men is the healthiest thing I have heard on this show.
  • It's lovely to see everybody helping Arlene, especially Lala.
  • Sookie looks cute in pigtails.
  • That was the first Bill/Sookie scene in what seems like forever.  I know they had one at the begining of the season, but they have been so disconnected for so long I forgot that they had such a history.  It was an intense conversation though.
  • Steve Newlin is running in a hamster wheel with limp wrists.  This may be my favorite season.
  • When was the last time Sookie even SAW Sam?!  They were so close in the first two seasons and it was so refreshing to see two old friends talking.
  • HEY LOOK!  Portia still exists!  The amnesia of True Blood is cured!
  • Somebody give Arlene some kind of award, "Ya'll are burying a lie!"
  • +1 for Sookie's best scene/monologue ever on this show ever.  Let's not forget Anna Paquin is an academy award winner.
  • Hell yeah for a "Strong Woman" bitch fight!  Nobody realizes how hard a neck is to break but damn a kick in the vagina really hurts.  It's happened to me, I know.
  • Oh look!  Sookie has finally realized that Nial is missing!
  • "And you most certainly didn't get her shirt off.  Sorry I have to take that one away from you."  GOD I love Eric's flippancy.
  • The first time Sookie was with Bill (and most of season one) she wore white.  Now she is wearing a black dress.  She is dressed for her own funeral.  This is very deep for True Blood.
  • I GASPED when Warlow was unconscious but OH SHIT!  ERIC CAN WALK IN THE LIGHT!
Only two more episodes but my faith is going strong!  Every episode my cons list gets shorter and my pro list takes over!  I am just SO HAPPY!