Wednesday, January 22, 2014

GO TO HELL! American Horror Story Coven


So before tonight's episode, I was doing the dishes and thinking about Nan.  AHS has the habit of adding totally pointless characters, maybe to distract you, maybe because they over write their scripts, but either way, I refuse to believe Nan served so little of a purpose.  She has a full story arc with Patti Lupone and that hottie christian boy.  You don't use a favorite past actress like Jamie Brewer and an epic theatre goddess like Lupone for no reason at all.  Here's to hoping that there is more to that plotline.  I also just want to say, that while this season isn't the disaster last season was, its just missing that all out creep factor of season one.  I mean, there were nights I couldn't sleep after watching an episode, let alone be alone in my apartment.  Don't get me wrong, I like this season, but it lacked some of the horror element of American Horror Story.  It started out strong, but just sort of became lacking and predictable.  My thought for next season:  Much, much smaller cast.  Season 1 was essential only FIVE essential characters... six if you count Moira.  We have close to NINE main characters this season, which is better than last seasons 450.

  • Weird silent movie opening... does not feel like a good sign.
  • This is not how I imagined we would learn about the seven wonders
  • While I respect the truthfulness to silent film tech... BUT I don't see the point in this over stylized nonsense.
  • "Half baked beetlejuice."  Yes.  Yes.  That is EXACTLY what he is.  This is the best line ever, that may be because Beetlejuice is one of my all time favorite movies.
  • Jeeze Cordelia, at least put on some glasses.
No girl.   You don't understand you look worse now
  • Okay, so times of crisis EVERYBODY gets new powers, you should have mentioned that earlier
  • Bitch, she find out you brained Misty.  I really am over Madison.
  • Wait, how does Cordilia even still have eyeballs at all?  She gouged them out.
  • Is Marie chopped up in itty bitty bits?  Cuz that's a genius way of getting rid of her.
  • QUEENIE!  You don't have any cocaine!!  PAPA LEGBA LOVE COCAINE!

  • What, dafuq, is going on with Queenie.
  • The spirit of Jazz wants some fried chicken!  Seriously, he is the spirit of jazz.
WATCH THE MIGHTY BOOSH
  • Broils (aka Lance Reddick) is AWESOME as this character
  • OH LAWD!  Marie is all cuts up!
  • BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  LaLaurie is giving her OWN house tours!  I love the new do girl!  You looks like Kathy Bates now.
  • Woah, Queenie is looking kind of thug life looking at LaLaurie.
  • LaLaurie, are you going to kill a white person?  Does that make you less racist?
  • Oh wait, no, she's still alive.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHA LaLaurie is commiserating with Paula Deen.  Brill.
  • LaLaurie's little speech about how easily we forgive is brilliant and true.  People only apologize because they get caught
  • Woah.  That was an epic amount of blood coming out of LaLaurie
  • Ok, so Fiona is still dying.
  • Man those eye contacts are wickedly good.  Bravo makeup department.
  • OH SHIT!  DID CORDELIA JUST PROPHESIZE THEY WOULD ALL END UP DEAD???  BY FIONA'S HAND!?
  • Fiona's gunna break the jazzman's heart?  That seems unwise.
  • Misty is still alive?  Just chillin in that grave?
  • How come Cordelia is out of the running for supreme?  They keep talking about all of the younger girls, but why can't Cordie?
  • Wooo!  Misty is back!
  • I fucking love how Myrtle talks passively aggressively to EVERYBODY
  • AH!  Zoe is back!  Awww her and Kyle love each other so much.
  • That homeless dude is dead meat.
  • Okay, so literally every witch can do all of the seven wonders.
  • FINALLY SOMEBODY IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF MADISON!
  • "Boy, did you walk into the wrong house"
  • I love seeing all of the witches FINALLY together.
  • Woops, did the axeman AX Fiona?  Ha.. ha... see what I did there... yeah no I got nothing.
  • Is it weird that I find Danny Huston as the Axeman seriously sexy?
  • Rut-roh that looks like the Axeman's killing strut.
  • "I made you die those little deaths for the first time in your life."  That's some damn line right there.
  • When did Fiona grow her hair back?
  • FIONA WHY ARE YOU STAYING FOR A DRINK HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU.
  • Stupid move Fi.  Stupid move.
  • So Fiona is dead... who is the next supreme?
  • "Yeah he is a psycho mas murderer" -Madison "Yes is there anybody here for whom that could not be said?" -Myrtle
  • ARE THEY ALL THE SUPREME??
  • Isn't that exactly how he died the first time?
  • Oh damn, is LaLaurie in HELL?!?!
  • I cannot make is CLEAR enough how dearly I love Angela Bassett.  I cannot.
  • Damn, Queenie sold EVERYBODY out.

CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!  My money was initially on Misty as the new supreme but it's tough to tell now.  There is a chance they may throw in a monkey wrench and decide that they are all just way to evil to be supreme.  It's a toss up!  What are your guesses, comment and let me know!