Wednesday, January 29, 2014

American Horror Story Finale: The Seven Wonders


So I read a cool theory on tumblr about who the next supreme may be.  Apparently, when Sarah Paulson's (Cordilia) name pop's up on the opening credits, the picture that appears next to it is a saint known in Folk Catholicism as "The Lady of Seven Powers".  Would they really be so bold as to hang this in front of us since DAY ONE?  Yes.  They probably would.  I had wondered in my last blog why Cordelia had counted herself out as the next supreme... maybe she shouldn't have?


Since the beginning of this blog, I insisted that Misty would be the next supreme.  I don't think I'm right, they will probably throw us a curve ball, like the baby Laveau stole is the new supreme.  You know it won't be something simple.  Probably they're all going to die.  I mean, die die, not die but then come back 10 time die.  Welp here it goes, last live blog of coven:

  • The camera was tiled for the entirity of this show.
  • Oh... wait... Am I watch a music video from the early 90s?  Because that's kind of what this feels like.
  • Wait, did Stevie Nicks write a song for this show?  I'm not that familiar with her stuff.
  • RYAN MURPHY.  STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS GLEE.  
  • Awww, Queenie is reaching out to Nan.
  • Myrtle Snow, you ate SHIT and loved it, now you are serving caviar.
  • REALLY!  REALY?!  A LAST SUPPER TABLEAU?  REALLLLYYYY?!?  You can't have a nice conversation like that.
  • Why is Misty even still there?  The witch hunters are gone, she isn't running from anybody.
  • They ALL grabbed KNIVES last week to kill the jazzman.  We know they can do this.
  • What was the actual point of Zoe's killer vagina?
  • HEY QUEENIE STOP HITTING YOURSELF!
  • Bahahaha Evan Peter's face is HILARIOUS during mind control.
  • WHAT THE HELL!  SINCE WHEN CAN CORDELIA DO THAT?!?! SHE JUST FLUNG KYLE ACROSS THE DAMN ROOM!
  • That is one impressive time turner... night night girls... don't die.  Again.  Well for some of you.
  • Cordilia looks like a mobster's wife.
  • Ladies, Queenie has done this already.
  • OHHHHHHHH DIG AT THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!!!!  
  • Ooooh I love Tassia's whiny cry.
  • Aw, Misty is so sweet, she is just a good girl who got caught up in this nonsense.
  • Uh-oh.  I think Misty may be dead meat.
  • NOOOO MISTY!!!!! I WAS SO WRONG! NOOOOOOO NOOO!!!!!!!!!!  Wow was I off base.
  • OHHH Zoe is a transmuting biotch.
  • Aww they look they are actually having FUN playing transmu-tag.
  • Oh gosh.  ZOE!!!  WITHOUT MISTY WHO WILL SAVE HER???
  • AW MAN!  Queenie is trying so hard to save her!
  • If Madison is supreme I am OUT.
  • AW KYLE!  I just want Evan Peters to LOVE me!!
  • Oh man, did Tumblr get it RIGHT?!
  • IS CORDELIA MAKING QUEENIE EXERCISE?!?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Cordelia dies, boom commercial break.  You KNOW she is going to see all the people who really died on this show.
  • Damn, Cordie is smooth.
  • "Who knew the test came with braille"
  • Uh-oh Madison can't divine.
  • Bye bye Madison.  You will not be missed.
  • Kyle is gunna kill this bitch sooooo hard.
  • "You're not that good an actress."  Best kill line ever.
  • Is it weird that Evan Peters is killing his real life fiance?
  • Wait... can't it still be Zoe?  She never finished the seven wonders, she died by accident.
  • YES! PREVIEW FOR BATES MOTEL!!!!!!
  • Annnnd Madison is dead again.
  • AHHHHH SPALDING!  Why you so creepy?!  Even as a ghost!  With your doll hand and mumble mouth.
  • Wait, why can Kyle see Spalding?
  • Cordie has her EYES back!
  • The camera spinning is making me sick.
  • Wasn't this EXACTLY how last season ended?  Sarah Paulson getting interviewed?
  • So your saying, being a witch is like being gay.  Got it.
  • Well, I was annoyed with Cordelia all season, but suddenly I love her.
  • OH GOSH!  Is Myrtle going to KILL Cordelia??? 
  • WAIT MYRTLE WANTS TO BE KILLED???
  • Well, I guess if you're going to go out, you better be fucking fabulous when you do it.  
  • This is just murder again, how does this resolve anything?
  • Did Myrtle just scream "Balenciaga"?
  • Did they cut Zoe's speech?  She had one in the preview...
  • Also... what was the point of casting Patti Lupone... she was hardly in it and didn't even SING.
  • Look at all the witches!  This place is going to be like Hogwarts!
  • Would you really trust Queenie or Zoe?  They are both backstabbing biotches.
  • Well DAMN, Mama's still alive!
  • If this is a TWIST ending where Cordelia is killed by Fiona.  Ugh.
  • How did Fiona deteriorate so quickly?
  • Fiona:  A better actress then Madison.
  • THIS IS HOW FIONA KILLED MADISON THE FIRST TIME!
  • I do not trust this "weak" Fiona.  I am waiting for the twist.
  • A neck snap maybe?
  • WAS THIS ALL A DREAM BECAUSE FUCK THAT.
  • Oh, whew, she's just in hell.... or heaven?  Nope, hell, she dead.
  • Ew, did Kyle just become Spalding?
  • I want all of the hats on this show.
  • Was this show just a long commercial for Stevie Nicks new album???
This season had so much potential but I think it fell a bit short with its repetition and large cast.  So many plot lines fell by the wayside as nothing more than filler.  In my opionion, NOTHING has lived up to season 1... but this came close.  Some teasers for next season started leaking... either AHS Carnival or Circus which would be BOSS!  It's probably a huge hoax but I LOVE THE IDEA OF A FREAK SHOW!  ONE OF US GOOBLE GOBBLE!  Because I want it so much its probs fake.