AHS: Edward Mordrake... Part 2

*Sigh*  Another 2 parter just like Anne Frank during Asylum.  This show needs a totally fresh cast... and maybe a new show runner.  What to look forward to tonight?  Hopefully some more Twisty as that is the only plot I can get behind.  What not to look forward to in tonight's episode?  Whatever tragically out of place musical number Murphy has added to torture me with.  That's right.  I now take these musical numbers personally.  *SIIIIIGGHHH*  Here we go...

• What in Sweet baby Jesus' name is Wes Bently's accent

• I like the idea of hearing every "freak's" back story.
• Mat Fraser is AWESOME.  I would like to see him in another season, he is an AWESOME actor.
• I guess we are not going to hear about how Pepper drowned a baby?
• I'm confused... is Jessica Lange considered a freak by Mordrake?
• "It is your delusional ignorance" oh SNAP.  You do not talk to Miss Lange like that you fool.
• Oh snap, is "Esmeralda" going to get killed by Mordrake for being a liar liar pants on fire?
• I keep forgetting Twisty is capturing kids... I didn't realize he wasn't feeding them.  Didn't the girl have gruel?
• Twisty's physicality is amazing.

• That girl just strait up kicked some ass,
• AHHHHHH AHHHHHHH WHAT CAN BE SCARIER THAN BEING CHASED BY THAT
• Evan Peters and beau go to save the day?
• Woah!  HBO sex
• Who needs botox when there is CGI
• RITCHY RICH!  OH FUCK!  EVAN!!!!! 
• Wait... why have we not heard the giant woman's story.  IS SHE GOING TO END UP DEAD????  omg I hope not I love her.
• "I made men ejaculate gold."
• Is Lange about to be snuff filmed???
• THIS IS HORROR STORY!  THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING THEY HAVE DONE
• "She's the one."  It's a bit early for Lange to part.
• What.  Is.  Happening.
• YES!  We are going to hear Twisty's story!
• I am guessing the mouth is an attempted/botched suicide or somebody tried to kill him.
• Why is "Esmeralda"being so helpful?  I thought she was a cold hearted con artist.
• Im not gunna comment here, I need to know this.
• This story is BREAKING my HEART

Watching him talk in that sad little voice though that gaping hole BROKE me

• I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• NO!!!!!!!! TWISTY! YOU WERE THE BEST PART OF THIS SHOW.
• fuck,
• They did it again.  They ended he best story line too soon.  Just like the demon in Asylum,
• Gross that mask is filthy.

• You stand on your soap box Lobster Boy, you tell them bout Meep.
• Until I saw her pouring coffee... I forgot about Angela Bassett
• Aw look, all the people heard about what Jimmy did and accept him.  Gooble Gobble.
• Honestly I am really upset this isn't the last episode.  THIS is the AHS problem, they end it perfectly 7 episodes too soon and then have a season to finish.  Without Twisty, this season is useless.
• I smell a musical number coming.  Great.
• Now that Ritchy Rich is "Twisty" he can kill I bet.
• And boom goes the dynamite.

I am calling this the BEST/WORST episode.  If this was the season finally and there weren't 200 extaneous plots, this would have been the best AHS episode, second only to the Violet reveal season 1.  But now.  AHS has to take things to far and end things too soon.  The snuff film and Twisty bits were true horror.  I was creeped out, which isn't easy.  But with Twisty gone, Dandy will NOT be able to fill those shoes.  I just don't care about any of these characters or plots that are left.  Oh American Horror Story, you done screwed the pooch again.  I shall begrudgingly finish the season.  Thank GOD there was no musical number.

AHS: Edward Mordrake

Edward Mordrake eh?  What an interesting title/character... JUST LIKE SEASON TWO'S ANNE FRANK EPISODES.  GAH!  This show just lives to irk me and I love to let it.  Okay, Anne Frank is an extremely iconic figure (who probably shouldn't have been touched in the first place), but in the history of "freaks" Mordrake is a well known figure.  For anybody who doesn't know, Mordrake is a famous "freak" who appears to be more urban legend that actual fact.  According to the story, Mordrake, a young handsome heir to some title or other had a second face on the back of his head.  This second head apparently whispered evil things to Mordrake who eventually committed suicide.  This "actual historical figure" this just feels a lot like something AHS has already done.

Edward Mordrake

In other news, here are my theories on Twisty.

1. He used to work at the Freak show and due to some terrible tragedy he either was shot in the face or tried to commit suicide,
2. He is Lange's son and whatever destroyed her legs (my thoughts bombs in Berlin during WWII) destroyed his face.

Anyhow, it's just started raining.  What perfect timing!  Time to settle down and watch.

• Little Roberts is back!  But more importantly DENNIS O'HARE IS BACK!!!!!!!

• Video killed the Freak show.  Guess people would rather watch Ed Sullivan.
• Remember last year when O'Hare was doing naughty things to Roberts corpse?  Yeahhhh I really do stay by my belief tht next year should have a completely rebooted cast.
• Oh God his little girl is already afraid of clowns, that's like the scariest of them all.
• Is this "Trick or Treat" scene reminding anybody else of Hocus Pocus

• FYI somebody wrote an article about Bates weird accent
• Aw the Doctor is so sweet to the Bearded Lady.
• "I'm not crying because I'm gunna die, I'm crying cuz your the one doctor to treat me with respect."  *heart breaks*
• So, no freak performs on Halloween just like in season 1 ghosts could leave the house.  
• How did Mordrake get a knife??
• FYI this is a totally different than the Mordrake story I've heard.
• Hey Kathy, I can see your lace front.  Sort that out hair and makeup.

• That's a damn good Woody Woodpecker Patti Labelle
• Uh-oh Patti I would not piss Ritchie Ritch off.
• Poor Meep :(
• Aw, Roberts and Peters are real life lovvahhss.  Wonder if that will play into this season.
• Oh thank God the "head removal" between Dot and Bette is just a dream.  I was worried.
• "I was having the most beautiful dream" what the actual FUCK Dot.
• The fortune telling scene where Roberts "reads her mark" was very interesting
• I love that Elsa is rocking a kimono while smoking opium.
• Angela Bassatt you are EVERYTHING

• I wasn't sure if she was jerking off her boy parts or her husbands.
• "You've got a beard for starters."  That's pretty mild for considering you went to 3 titties and a weenie.
• Why is this a plot?  I do not car about the strong man and the bearded lady.  This is way too long a scene.
• OMG the smallest girl scaring the tallest girl is the most ADORABLE scene I have ever seen.
• Oh God, Ritchie Ritch dressed as a clown is gunna kill LaBelle!!!
• Why do people taunt killers?
• The way "Esmeralda" wouldn't touch lobster boy's hand.
• Oh DAYUM son O'Hare is channeling Russell Edgington.

• Jimmy's rage seems to be the most over the top thing in the world.
• So... I guess O'Hara is a bit of a freak himself?  Double dong?
• This poor little girl is so afraid of clowns... but I am sorry that clown HAS to smell bad.  You have GOT to smell him before you see him.
• Soooo Dot is a total D-Bag.  Good for Sarah Paulson, she gets to go less screaming and hysterical crying this year.
• ....another...fucking...out of time tune.  THERE ISNT EVEN AN AUDIENCE.  GOD I HATE YOU RYAN MURPHY!!!!!!!!!  This actually makes me want to stop watching.

Even Tumblr. agrees

• So even though Esmerelda isn't real, Mordrake comes in all tall dark and handsome with a serious hard on for Elsa?  I'm calling it now, Kathy Bates ends up dead after this 2 episode arc.  You know what else had a two episode arc?  Anne Frank during Asylum.
• Oh shit, ANOTHER WEIRD ACCENT.  WTF IS THIS EDWARD MORDRAKE ACCENT??
• Why am I watching the trial of two weird accents?
• Ok so it isn't Kathy Bates... is it Dot?  The freak who doesn't want to be?
• Honestly, Ritchie Ritch is scarier than Twisty.

So that's it.  I'm so mad at Ryan Murphy I have no more to say.

Gotham: A freshman show with a few problems

When Fox announced the Gotham, naturally I was curious.  I've never been a DC fan, but I've always  enjoyed watching Batman in media.  I grew up watching the 1960s Batman on reruns, I adored both of Tim Burton's Batman movies and finally Christopher Nolan's brilliant Dark Night trilogy.  I'm skipping over every Batman movie in between because I either didn't see it or hated it.  Anyway, I would not call myself a Batman expert, I've never read a comic, I don't obsess over it at random times (like I would with Doctor Who or something) but I enjoy the character and his villains.  So I knew I would watch.  I am now 5 episodes and and I am struggling to keep watching, but I have a rule to give everything one season.  Initially, I wasn't a fan of Sleepy Hollow, I was going to cut it loose and then got slammed with a brilliant season finale.  I would now count myself a fan of the show.  So, I decided to boil down my unease with Gotham into what I would consider three glaring issues.  If some of them are resolved end of season, I would be happy to come back as a season 2 viewer.

Are you Campy or are you Serious?

Gotham seems to be unsure of whether it wants to go 1960s camp or super serious Christopher Nolan.  There seems to be a huge disparity between the violence and the goofy almost slapstick moments.  We get very silly comedy with over the top brawl scenes at the GCPD station, the bumbling cop moments (well performed by Donal Logue), the cartoonish-ly villainous villains (I'm look at you Jada trying to channel Eartha Kitt and failing) mixed with some serious gang drama, over the top scenes of violence and a very stoic James Gordon who seems to be the only close to real life character on the show.  So what are you?  Am I supposed to take you super seriously as a prime time drama or am I supposed to roll my eyes and go "oh you" as people are murdered via weather balloon?  Seriously, I'm not sure, I am a very confused viewer.

I think the biggest issue here may be the Gotham's time slot.  You can't get away with things at 8pm that you can at 10 pm.  Actually, Gotham may have been better suited on something like HBO that would allow the optimal amount of sex and violence the show feels like it needs to be taken seriously.  I was actually shocked when Fox announced the 8pm slot.  Kids watch TV at 8 pm.  Maybe that's the reason for the camp-factor on the show, but it doesn't appeal to me as a viewer.  I want all or nothing, if you want to be campy, that's fine just immerse the show in it.  Otherwise, cut the camp and give me gritty drama, but this weird mixture leaves me feeling torn on how I felt each episode.

Too may characters and teases

If your a writer on a show, you should write knowing that you could have many seasons ahead of you!  Heck, if you do well on network, you can expect early renewals and hopefully the promising life of hitting at least the 100 episode mark.  Yet in the pilot alone, the show has introduced and teased SO many of the villains in the Batman universe it almost got frustrating.  Especially since we have seen so little of anybody but the Penguin (which is fine with me he is brilliant but I will get back to that).  In the pilot alone we met:

• The Wayne's murderer 
• Catwoman
• The Pengiun
• Poison Ivy (who got a name change)
• Fish Mooney
• The Riddler
• Carmine Falcone

On top of that, it looks like they will be teasing Scarecrow next week.  Gotham, clam your tits.  I know you are trying to show the beginning of a universe, but there is no reason to dangle juicy bits in front of us only to take them away.  There are a LOT of Batman villains, plus the ones you've added that don't originate in the world of the comics.  Lets stick to one history lesson at a time.  I am happy to watch the story arc of the Penguin and the gangs of Gotham without the little peppered in moments with Nigma and Kyle.  And where the hell did Poison Ivy go?  She was in the pilot, she even got her own poster!  This is what happens when you bombard nerds with things.  We ruminate.  Meanwhile, we are getting this huge young Bruce Wayne plot, but I never expected to see that.  Not to mention the 10 year old is way too smart for a kid who doesn't seem to go to school or receive any sort of schooling at all.  All I ask is that you pare it back a bit.  To be honest, all anybody wants to see is the Joker, but I think that's a character that can really wait.  Let us have some time to munch on these other characters first.

Seemingly unnecessary plot lines

Also, why does Gordon live behind a clock face?  

Gotham is has some extremely heavy handed, complicated plot lines in place.  The show really doesn't need anything more than the episodic plots, layered with the serialized "the mob runs Gotham" plot.  But adding in extraneous plots have made the show feel choppy.  The story arc I have the biggest problem with is the Barbara Kean/Detective Montoya plot.  It is such a thin story it feels like the writers are struggling to keep it interesting.  Montoya's character is cartoonish-ly hateful of Gordon, though she has no actual proof of anything.  It seems they are trying to chalk it up to her past relationship with Barbara, but seriously?  That's like, stalker territory.  Thankfully that plot was missing from last night's episode, but I am sure it will come back.  Lucky us.

The other plot I'm finding irksome is the Fish Mooney/Liza plot.  I like the idea of that story, but we spent a LOT of time focusing on Fish teaching Liza.  The scenes were awkward, and Liza's motives are utterly unclear as she doesn't seem to give a shit about anything.  I'm interested to see where it goes, but I really hope they speed it up because it felt like it was rolling along at a snails pace.

Now, to talk about the one thing Gotham has absolutely gotten right.  Casting Robin Lord Taylor as the Penguin was a stroke of PURE GENIUS.  I nearly gave up on the show after episode 2, but I just knew I would miss the Penguin.  They could do whole episodes around this Professor Quirrell type character and I would be fine.  The show could be called "The Penguin" for all I cared.  I love everything about him, the wobbly way he walks, the oddly formal way he talks, give me all Penguin all the time.  Honostly, he really is the one anchor holding me to the show, I just want to watch Taylor perform because whatever he is doing he is doing RIGHT.

So those are my thoughts, feel free to comment especially if you disagree!

AHS FREAK SHOW: Massacres and Matinees

I'm back people!  I meant to blog about episode 1, but it was the day before Comic Con here in NY and I was focused on conserving energy.  So, American Horror Story Freak Show.  Probably the most excited I've been since finishing season one.  If you've followed my blog on the previous AHS iterations, you would know I have been disappointed since Murder House.  I didn't mind Coven, but it's ending was heart-wrenchingly disappointing.  But a FREAK SHOW, oh the possibility!  Anybody who knows me, knows that I am obsessed with the Freak Show culture.  I have books, the movie Freaks is one of my favorites, I've gone to the Coney Island Freak Show, the musical Sideshow is top 15 on my favorite musicals list, are you getting the gist?  When the announcement came out, I was going off the walls with excitement, but I had one big fear.  I didn't want AHS to make the Horror come from the "freaks" because that is not where the fear should come from.  What we should fear is how awful able bodied people could be to those who are different.  But I have to stand up and applaud Ryan Murphy for casting actual disabled people in the show and not only relying on special effects and makeup.

Now we are one episode deep and it's still way to early to tell, but I'm going to give you a quick pro/con list.

Pros:

• Dot and Bette.  I didn't think that effect would work, but damn son.
• The throw backs to the movie Freaks... just dont go too far an flat out copy it.
• The overall look of the show.  The colors contrasted with the darkness, perfect for the creep show vibe.
• Jessica Lange playing something other than a bitchy overpowering woman.
• The big reveal of Jessica Lange's missing legs.
• THAT MOTHERFUCKING TERRIFYING FUCKING CLOWN.  That was SCARY and AMAZING and exactly what this show should be

Cons:

• How quickly it was revealed Dot and Bette actually killed their mother.
• That weird fingering lady party... that was gross.
• Kathy Bates accent.
• The really sudden and obviously set up for the season murder of that detective.
• How much time they focused on Bette and Dot even though their story didn't seem to go anywhere after an hour and a half.
• The obvious problem of TOO MANY CHARACTERS again
• And this last one, listen people, its very important:  RYAN MURPHY YOU SON OF A BITCH.  THIS IS NOT GLEE.  DO NOT PUT AND ENTIRE SONG WITH A DREAM SEQUENCE IN.  THIS.  IS.  NOT.  GLEE.  I actually watched the scene and said "Oh?  are we going to hear the whole... yeah she is going to sing the whole song.

Over all, I wasn't bowled over by episode 1, but the clown is worth watching.  And now, for my live blog of episode 2.  You people ready?  Here we go:

• I still don't get why lobster boy killed the detective.  Just because he accused the twins of a murder the did commit?  

• How does Elsa have such a bitchin' tent when they have no money?
• God Dot and Bette really are a cool effect.
• Empty creepy toy shop.  Never a good sign.
• Anybody remember the movie "Toys"?  Bloody robot foot prints is too cheesy, even for me.
• GAH THAT GOD DAMN CLOWN
• I think this may be my favorite opening.  I am trying to pay close attention to it, Murphy hinted there were hidden secrets in the opening, much like the Coven opening showing that Sarah Paulson's character would be supreme.  I'll have to keep and eye on tumblr.  Those guys and gals always have the best theories.
• "Kill the copper" sounds a LOT like "Gooble Gobble."  Watch out or your going to have to give the movie Freaks a lot more credit.
• This whole "Woops, I killed a cop" and "its okay he said we were freaks" convo seems a little ridiculous.  They really rushed this whole murder plot.  Did they open the show with a shark jump?
• Did Francis Conry get a new accent since the first episode?
• IS RITCHIE RICH DRINKING A BOOZE FROM A NIPPLE?!?!

• Uh oh is Ritchie Rich also a serial killer?  Choppin' up cats doesn't look so good.
• Oh great.  More characters.  Just what this show doesn't need.  Even if one of them has got Tig-ol-Biddies.
• What is in Angela Bassett's water?  She is fabulous.
• Oh, good.  Another murder.  Just what this show needs.  Is this going to be a "like father like son" thing?
• Three titties AND a ding-a-ling.  How exciting.

• I love how when Francis Conroy asks Murder Clown if he does parties he gives a look like "Is this bitch serious?"
• This show jumps from plot to plot quicker that a kid with ADHD hopped up on sugar.
• What the hell is this rich boy character.  I don't understand why this is happening.
• I get scared literally every time that clown is on screen.
• WHAT IS KATHY BATES WEIRD ACCENT?!
• Wow... young Kathy Bates looked nothing like Bates has ever looked in her life.
• OMG That Bette is SO CUTE.  Even if she did slit her Mother's throat.
• I hate that Dot is falling in love with Lobster Boy because I feel like he is going to turn out to be a real ass hat.
• Evan Peters, why do you have to be such a cutie patootie.  I love your handsome face.
• Holy fuck these play room scenes with the clown and Ritchie Rich are going to kill me.  I think even the clown is freaked out
• Why is Pepper on this show?  Don't get me wrong, it's a great character, but the through line of the show now makes NO sense, especially since the same actors are in Asylum with her.

• Talk about Daddy issues... wait does Lobster Boy even know Strong Man his is daddy?  This seems unclear.
• Something is also painfully sad about Killer Clown whose name is apparently Twisty.
• HOLY FUCK THAT MOUTH!  Oh that make up was fantastic, I want to see it again, rewind.
• So, Ritchy Rich is some kind of psycho.
• "See where he's got you billed?"  "He's got to go."
• Who plays the Geek?  Can somebody find that out for me?  He looks like the actor from Doctor Who's "Tooth and Claw."
• NO.  NO.  THIS IS NOT GLEE.  STOP.  STOP THIS.  THIS SONG IS NOT FROM THE TIME PERIOD AND THERE WERE NO MOSH PITS THEN.  NO.  NO.  NO.  I AM ENRAGED.  RYAN MURPHY YOU ARE THE STEVEN MOFFAT OF AMERICAN TV.
• ARE WE GOING TO HEAR THIS WHOLE SONG???
• Is this an hour and a half again?  I have to go to bed.
• I smell a frame up job
• Oh snap, a double betrayal.

• Oh sure, blame the Geek.  Just cuz he bites heads off chickens.
• OMG.  This is TOO awful, I feel SO BAD for this poor guy.  Heart BROKEN.
• Jessica Lange up to her old bitchy ways.  Turning Bette against Dot.
• There is no way Bette thinks killing Dot is an option.
• It's after 11!  We can say Shit now!
• OH NO!  POOR MEEP!  Episode 2 and Im already heart broken.  Meep is exactly the kind of horror story I am looking for with Freak Show.  People who don't understand are the monsters.

This would have been a great episode, but nooooooo they had to go and put in a weird unrealistic untrue to the time musical number in.  Ugh.  Next week's Halloween episode has potential, but if there is another weird musical number ima be pissed.