Oh. I can't. I'm too broken by this episode to write a coherent opening paragraph. I'm sorry. This show is amazing, but it literally defeats you. I mean, I guess that's it's purpose, but you are exhausted emotionally after each episode. In a way I'm kind of happy the seasons winding down because I may have a mental breakdown soon.
The episode picks up where last weeks ended. Sheriff Romero shows up to find Shelby dead, Norma beaten, Norman bleeding and Dylan shot. Just when you think he is going to snap, Romero turns and kind of anticlimactically says "We'd better talk." Alright... Cut to Norma saying "And now you know the whole truth." You're not sure how much she's told, but it slowly unfolds that the whole truth really did come out. Romero admits he had suspected Shelby was up to no good and makes up the perfect cover story, spinning the whole thing so the Sheriff Romero is the hero and Norma is off the hook. Norma and Norman are ecstatic and do some creepy "boyfriend/girlfriend" looking hugging. But not everybody is happy. Dylan was not only shot, but given the short end of the stick in the cover story, being "the guy who got in the way."
Cut to Bradley and Norman back in bed. Oh I was so ecstatic I was so happy my theory about Norman raping her was wrong. They tangle in the sheets and Norman insists that Norman is downstairs and won't hear them. There is a pubescent awkwardness captured, those strange and beautiful moments you had a teenager as you figure out what the hell is going on with your body... and other peoples bodies. I am so relieved that they are in bed, that when Norma yells "NORMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I nearly pooped my pants. Norman throws back the sheet and OH MY GOD THANK GOODNESS IT'S JUST A DREAM! So Norma chats with Norman about the motel opening as he nurses his morning wood. Ah, the creepiness... it never gets old.
Before going to school, Norman fixes some lattice work under the house. He finds a dog under the house, its snarls and growls and Norman, and Norman calls to it hammer in hand. In my heart of heart I thought we was going to bash it's brains in but thank the Lord Jesus, he lets it run by him. Meanwhile, Norma is in the kitchen being the perfect 50s Mother to Dylan... until he tells her that he is still moving out. She gives him the now famous Norma passive aggressive guilt trip, and sends him out with the trash. As Dylan struggles with one arm at the dumpster a man drives up looking for the Seafair Hotel and Keith Summers. He serves extreme creepiness to Dylan before driving away. Jere Burns is an incredibly gifted actor, creepiness and insanity being his specialty. Its great to see him in a role on this show.
Dylan comes home to find Abernathy in residence. He isn't happy about the arrangement, and tells Norma that he is going to check him in. He asks Abernathy for his license and credit card. Abernathy is not happy to oblige saying he's in the system, but when Dylan explains that the system is new, Abernathy gives his license and a boatload of cash. A suspicious Dylan goes back to the house to find Norma trying in Vain to scrub Shelby's blood from the steps. "You can't get blood out of stone Norma," Dylan comments as he drops the wad of cash in her face.
The next day Norman and Dylan use the cash to buy paint for the stone. The whole episode Norman tries to get Bradley's attention, but she has given him the cold shoulder. This is the first time Dylan meets her, and you get the weird feeling he may be into her. He asks Norman if he has slept with her since the first time, but he says he hasn't, but he puts in on the fact that she just lost her dad.
That night Norma has trouble sleeping, and when she hears a noise she is out of bed in a flash. She goes downstairs to investigate and finds her kitchen door open and slamming against the wind. Have you ever heard of locking your door Norma? Well, Norma can't figure out how the door could have possibly opened and just goes on back inside. Oh come on. You just know it's Jake Abernathy.
The next day Emma shows up looking for Norman. Norma answers, and Emma asks if they have gotten a dog, as Norman has left food out for the dog under the porch. Norma goes to tell Norman that Emma is here, but he tells her to make up and excuse for why he can't see her. Norma snaps, she is suddenly all team Emma, but Norman says he doesn't want to lead her on. So, having not much else to snap about, Norma yells at Norman about the dog food and storms off.
Norma, tells Emma that Norman doesn't feel well, but when she notices Emma leaving in tears, she offers a bit of a girls day out. It's kind of sweet actually. In the car they start a bit of gossip about Norman. Norma asks Emma if she knows whats been up with her son and Emma kind of TOTALLY SPILLS THE BEANS ABOUT BRADLEY! WHAT THE FUCK EMMA! And then THEN EMMA TAKES HER TO BRADLEY'S YOGA CLASS TO SPY ON HER! WTF WHY! But when Norma see Bradley and realizes she is the girl who took Norman to the party she has a bit of a mini-stroke and starts imagining them having sex. WUT. Norma storms off nearly leaving Emma in the dust.
Later that day, the dog is back and now Norman has given it a name, Juno. Norman gains it's trust, but Norma scares it away. I can't help fearing for this dog's life... Oh GOD! Later that night, Norman asks if he can keep the dog, and even though at first Norma is resistant, when Norman says "Normal families have dogs," she agrees... but then things get weird. Norma sits Norman down at the table to have "the sex talk" holding his hand. "Sex is a serious thing" she tells him, but then basically tells him that Bradley is a whore, "You don't know that girl well enough to be screwing her." Norma talks about women after sex as like, crazy witches that have crazy juices flowing through them after sex, practically touching her boobs as she explains. Norman is building in anger, and when Norma drops the bomb that she's hired Emma, Norman freaks, telling her she has no right to pick who he should date. Norman storms out and Norma freaks out screaming and slamming doors.
Norman goes to Bradley's house and it all goes to shit. Norman gives her this big romcom speech, confessing his feelings... but then the big let down. Bradley doesn't have feelings for Norman, it was just a thing that happened. Well... I'm glad he didn't rape her, I've never been happier to be wrong. Norman is devistated and he storms off, ticking off everything his mother says as the ringing that signifies he's losing it builds. Bradley chases after him and you want to scream "NO BRADLEY DON'T! HE'S GONE PSYCHO!" She finally catches up to him, asking if he's okay, but he only responds "I don't think you're a nice girl" as the ring builds. I thought he was going to strangle her, but his trance breaks as Bradley hugs him and apologize. Thankfully all Norman does is walk away.
Back at the motel, Norma is in the office and is nearly scared to death by Abernathy. He tells her that he likes the motel better now, offering to spread the word. Then, he asks to book the entire block of rooms for the first week of every moth for his "sales" people. Norma looks leery, half-joking "it's not anything illegal." When he laughs off her accusation she turns on the Norma denial and books the rooms for him. What the fuck Norma. I actually thought the words "you dumb bitch".
I don't even want to talk about this last part. Don't make me. Please. Oh God. I didn't even really watch. Because I knew... Norman gets home, broken up about Bradley and find his dog on the other side of the street. He calls for Juno just as a car comes. He tries to stop her, but she is already running toward him and that HORRIBLE DOG YELP comes and you know Juno is dead. Norman screams "I KILLED MY DOG!" And I vomited up my heart. WHY DO THE DOGS ALWAYS HAVE TO DIE! I have had dogs my whole life, I have two now and I know the pain of losing a pet is one of the horrific feelings in the world.
Norma runs out in the confusion, but Norman demands to be taken to Emma's father because "Emma's dad can fix dead things!" And now we know why Norman loves taxidermy. Take a good hard look Norma this is your future. Norman spills the beans about Bradley, and Norma tells him that he will take him to Emma's Dad.
I'm so upset about the dog dying I have nothing left to say. Dead inside.